UPDATE 2 YEARS LATER. I’m in good company:
Holy crap, I realize that I’m something like 20 years late with this review, but “The Little Mermaid” is a horrendous movie on SO MANY levels!
With my two oldest in YMCA camp all day, the blistering hot weather, and the general summertime malaise, I’ve been turning on the DVD player in the car pretty frequently. It helps distract them while the air conditioning has a chance to cool them off, and I like listening to kid movies much more than kid whining.
So this morning I grabbed a movie the boys have never watched, but I had lying around: The Little Mermaid. I figured they’d complain at first since it’s a “girl movie” (the 6-year-old equivalent of a “Chick Flick”) but much like the summer I saw Judge Dredd just to be in a cool theater, I assumed they’d enjoy it more than heat stroke.
OH MY GOD, let me give a plot summary for the 11 of you out there who haven’t seen this movie yet. Ariel is a mermaid and wants to be human. In order to do this, she has 3 days to make the Prince fall in love and kiss her. Without the use of her voice. She is told to use ‘body language’ — you know, her tits — instead and that men don’t like a lot of talking anyway. If she succeeds, she can never go back home or see her family again, and of course, she will no longer be a mermaid.
Really? This is what children are watching now? I feel like at any moment I’m going to be in my yard screaming for kids to get off my lawn, but I’m completely shocked. I guess the movie might improve from this point, but I’m going to be really surprised if Disney redeems themselves with a movie that would make a sister proud.
And I’m the mom of three boys. What do moms of girls do about this movie? Gah.