Ariel should sleep with the fishes. For reals.

UPDATE 2 YEARS LATER. I’m in good company:

Holy crap, I realize that I’m something like 20 years late with this review, but “The Little Mermaid” is a horrendous movie on SO MANY levels!

With my two oldest in YMCA camp all day, the blistering hot weather, and the general summertime malaise, I’ve been turning on the DVD player in the car pretty frequently. It helps distract them while the air conditioning has a chance to cool them off, and I like listening to kid movies much more than kid whining.

So this morning I grabbed a movie the boys have never watched, but I had lying around: The Little Mermaid. I figured they’d complain at first since it’s a “girl movie” (the 6-year-old equivalent of a “Chick Flick”) but much like the summer I saw Judge Dredd just to be in a cool theater, I assumed they’d enjoy it more than heat stroke.

OH MY GOD, let me give a plot summary for the 11 of you out there who haven’t seen this movie yet. Ariel is a mermaid and wants to be human. In order to do this, she has 3 days to make the Prince fall in love and kiss her. Without the use of her voice. She is told to use ‘body language’ — you know, her tits — instead and that men don’t like a lot of talking anyway. If she succeeds, she can never go back home or see her family again, and of course, she will no longer be a mermaid.

Really? This is what children are watching now? I feel like at any moment I’m going to be in my yard screaming for kids to get off my lawn, but I’m completely shocked. I guess the movie might improve from this point, but I’m going to be really surprised if Disney redeems themselves with a movie that would make a sister proud.

And I’m the mom of three boys. What do moms of girls do about this movie? Gah.


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41 responses to “Ariel should sleep with the fishes. For reals.”

  1. Kathy Avatar

    I'm one of the eleven people who've yet to see The Little Mermaid.

    "She is told to use 'body language' — you know, her tits — instead and that men don't like a lot of talking anyway."

    You know, I try to plan what I would do in these situations if I ever have children who, I'm sure, would be begging me to let let them watch what their friends are (though I'd hope they'd be proud little weirdos, like I was — well, the proud part came later).

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  2. Jen Avatar

    Maybe it's because I'm an incurable Disneyphile but I love The Little Mermaid. It's not great from a feminist viewpoint but um, it's got great music and that's got to count for something. And the scene where Ursula pulls herself across the ship's deck? Scariest villian moment ever!

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  3. Classy Mommy Avatar

    although i love your review hre, i gotta be honest… and admit that i loved the little mermaid when i was in junior high. and i'm still loving it today 19 years later when I – GASP – let my 2 year old watch it. agree on the whole feminist thing but the story is adorable and as far as princess movies go it is the most appealing for the v. young preschool girls. easy to understand. fabulous music. fantastic underwater sea life. and i think as a parent sometimes its nice not to over analyzie and instead just relax and let my kids ENJOY – especially since generally we are STRICT on TV time and shows. the good news is that i think Disney is REDEEMING themselvess with Giselle in ENCHANTED. a true modern princess who needs to save herself. if you haven't seen it – enjoy!

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  4. Jennifer S Avatar

    Personally, I think the Little Mermaid is a bad children's movie because it teaches children that their parents are wrong and don't know what is best for them. Arguably, that is true for some kids, but not all.

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  5. laura Avatar

    speaking as the mommy of four girls, we reinforce every truth from that movie and her clones….KIDDING!!!

    seriously, i did my level best to focus on their strengths, brains, value and all that good stuff and they still end up being the high school cheerleader, the beauty and fashion expert and the Elle Woods to be who are just plain butt hurt that "mommy never dressed me in foofy lace, ribbons and bows".

    i guess we just do the very best we can and pray…pray a lot because even your very best efforts backfire.

    we've been beating the heat and crappy air watching planet earth dvd series…netflix rocks!

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  6. jodifur Avatar

    You know I love you, but I have to disagree. I just saw the musical on Broadway and one thing I noticed is that Ariel saves the Prince. Normally the Prince saves the Princess.

    Yes, she changed for him, I didn't love that.

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  7. Dawn @ Coming to a N Avatar

    Even before I had a daughter, I found so many of the Disney movies so obNOXious. Moms are never prevalent and are mostly killed off. Even the step moms are never likeable – all evil. Yes, it's a fairy tale, blahblahblah – But they're always beautiful, they're always perfect looking, it's all a bunch of crap.

    now that I have a daughter – oh hell, no. LOL

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  8. Jamie Avatar

    My 6-year-old wants a Little Mermaid bike for Christmas…GOD HELP US ALL! ;)

    I would say out of all the Disney princesses, Ariel is the most annoying and outright helpless/feeble/pathetic. I kind of like Belle and Jasmine.

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  9. HeatherK Avatar

    I don't have a problem with the movie or letting my girls watch it. I happen to think that I am and they one day will be more than smart enough to see beyond the simplistic themes that run through all the princess/girly flicks. Movie + grain of salt

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  10. Eden Avatar

    TLM has its moments on both sides of the issue and when it comes down to it, I don't have a problem w/ my kids watching it. Sure Ariel ignores the advice of those who know better; she's a teenager. She comes to realize that she was wrong though and regrets her unwise choices when she sees the consequence of her selfish actions: not that she was harmed but that her father was. But yes, she also acts as a hero, saving Eric from drowning and from marrying the disguised seawitch. She doesn't sit back and let life happen to her. She takes charge, even when she makes poor decisions. That's part of what growing up is about IMO.

    The one that bothers me is Sleeping Beauty. Aurora is 100% passive and her life unfolds completely at the whim of everyone around her. I can usually find a redeeming quality for each Disney princess (Snow White is kind, Cinderella is resourceful, Pocahontas is compassionate, Belle is smart, etc.) but Aurora has me at a loss. So when the kids watch it (and the art direction is unlike any other Disney movie so visually, I've always liked it), we talk about Prince Philip and his positive attributes.

    There are some strong human Disney heroines. Look to Belle (Beauty and the Beast), Mulan (Mulan), Pocahontas (Pocahontas) and Giselle (Enchanted) for starters.

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  11. anymommy Avatar

    My kids watch it, I have to admit. I'm a push over for movies while I'm trying to make dinner. I like the music variety too. And, if you think Little Mermaid is bad, take another look at Snow White. Woman cooks and cleans for seven dirty little men until her prince comes and saves her. Gah.

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  12. Beth Avatar

    It's the villain of the story who advises her to act that way. That's not the message of the movie. Villains=bad, you know?

    Ariel of course does not follow Ursula's terrible tongue in cheek advice.

    Ariel is not bad or sexist, neither is the movie.

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  13. Melanie Avatar

    I have a boy so the Princess stuff is out, but I like the movie too. Almost all disney movies (and many adult ones for that matter, Pretty Woman?) can be dissected from a feminist angle and thrown on the fire. But, they ca also be teaching moments. There's a time for lessons and a time for kids to be kids. Just my .02.

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  14. Andrea Avatar

    I should turn you on to Tinkerbell and her forest friends. :D

  15. Daisy Avatar

    My daughter loved this movie when it was new. She's now 21, and thanks to a balanced upbringing (lots of feminist propaganda from mom to counter Disney) she is a definite liberal and strong female now. Her roommate is a Princess, and my girl tends to keep her in line! Yes, Ariel is a stereotype, and girls and boys need to know that stereotypes are exaggerated, not real.

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  16. karrie Avatar

    I've never seen the movie either, so I'll just say this:

    Led Zeppelin's "Mothership" does more to drown out the sounds of car tantrums/whining then any DVD out there. I think my son sort of likes Led Zep, but it's all about the loud, angry lyrics and beat for me.

    Thank you, Robert Plant.

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  17. Shauna Avatar

    You're right…. You're really really right. But it's Disney. Do you expect any less? Sleeping Beauty and Snow White both had to be saved by a price, and Cinderella wasn't a lot better off until the price found her… I think "Shreck" is the only one that half-way got it right.

    I figure it's inevitable for my little girl to be exposed to these "classics." I just try to offset the messages in Disney's traditional "happy ending" stories, with other more well-rounded stuff.

  18. Wendy Avatar

    Any kid movie where it ends with a wedding (as if that should be The Goal) troubles me. I'm hoping my kid will be growing out of the princess phase soon. Now that I'm a mom I hate that a) Ariel wants to ditch her entire life/family/sea and b) she falls in love in a matter of seconds after seeing Prince Eric. Ugh.

    Of course, that being said we own this movie and have watched it a gazillion times…. :)

  19. Nicole/wksocmom Avatar

    I think the only princess movie they've seen is Mulan, thanks to grandpa for some reason. I did manage to stumble upon a disney movie where the mom doesn't die – okay, one baby and sets of parents dies, granted, but it's Tarzan, it's the goto movie right now. Not too bad… and I have to confess right now I rarely talk about movies with my kids, except for a half-hearted attempt when I'm actually watching it with them.

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  20. manager mom Avatar

    We don't buy it. And we warn our daughters that if they are relying on their boobies to make them happy they are going to have a tough time. Especially those of us who live in the land of the 34As.

    manager mom's latest post: Time To Get Over Myself

  21. Pendullum Avatar

    Disney Man… It is the worst…

    On so many levels…

    A parent always dies,or there is some really bad message about happiness…

    If I could be so bold…

    I would try and veer away from the evil empire of the mouse(unless of course you are to watch Wall-e) and go towards studio Ghibili


    Truly an amazing studio with animation which will blow you away….

    The kids can not watch Spirited Away of Valley of The Fireflies… But everything else is magical…. Truly…

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  22. PunditMom Avatar

    I was horrified the first time I saw the Little Mermaid — abandon her whole family for some guy she sees from afar?? Of course, PunditGirl wanted to dress up like the Little Mermaid for Halloween when she was 5. Fortunately, she shuns almost all things Disney princess now.

  23. J. Avatar
    J.

    I feel like the film shows that one of the most dangerous things for a woman (or person) to lose is her voice. It is Ariel's voice (stolen and used by Medusa) that hypnotizes Eric into nearly marrying the evil sea-witch. The movie also shows a great deal of female defiance for a Disney film. Ariel refuses to be controlled by her father, while her sisters are all content to date and put on make-up. They find her weird for expressing curosity and a desire for adventure. While she does try to make Eric fall in love with her, it is the fact that she does not conform to his high-society rules that he falls in love with. He also spends most of the film trying to get her to talk or speak because he wants to know more about her. But in the end I guess it's really just a Disney movie & a fairytale — all about love. Catchy songs though!

    Also, ANYTHING is better than Bratz. They are truly a plague upon little girls & should be blown off the face of the earth! Forever! Agh!

  24. kristina Avatar

    Yeah, I pretty much agree about the Little Mermaid. My 3-yr-old daughter likes all the Disney princess movies and I'm really conflicted. I don't mind if she's girly-girl and likes all the frills and pretty dresses but the whole prince stuff really concerns me.

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  25. Jenny, Bloggess Avatar

    The book is even more disturbing.

    Although I must admit that I know all the words to "A Whole New World".

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  26. Erika Jurney Avatar

    Just yesterday my three year old was singing that 'kiss the girl' song after only hearing it one time…

  27. Trisha Avatar

    I'm also one of the 11!

    If or whenever our adoption ever goes through – I'll be keeping this one away from my daughter. I love disney world but I'm really not that familiar with the movies, except the pixar stuff. And Mulan – she'll watch that one. The first one anyway.

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  28. Melizzard Avatar

    My two girls love this one above all others – for whatever reason, I'm not sure.

    But I have the opposite take on that you got – Ariel is a strong-willed girl who finds a way to achieve her goal (living on land) no matter what it takes and doesn't let anything or anyone stand in her way.

    She tells anyone who tells her that her desire to be human is not acceptable to basically suck it and does what she wants to do.

    The prince well he's just a means to the end really. A happy by product of what she really wants – which is to live on the land with humans.

    The movie is really about a woman not just accepting the social norms of her community and doing what she's told. She's strong and wants to think for herself and she's willing to take risks, even foolish ones, to be who she wants to be.

  29. Erika Jurney Avatar

    You know what Melizzard? You've convinced me to watch it one more time. I'll report back.

  30. gwendomama Avatar

    OH HAI! I am the mom of a girl!

    What little mermaid? What? Huh? I don't understand.

    –this is the tactic we used for 7 years. Now that she is 7, we just explain to her why it is derrogatory and lame.

    I just explained the retroactive immunity FISA bill and how Obama already lied….I can certainly handle the little mermaid. and the evil misogynist michael eisner.

    sRsly, not a disney fan by ANY stretch. but disney has never before or since been as bad as it was under eisner.

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  31. Trisha Avatar

    I've been thinking about this some more and it occurred to me that it would be best if Disney would just update all their classics to a more modern version.

    So, for Cinderella – she could get a divorce, dissolve the monarchy, establish a democracy, get elected the first president and be remembered 'happily ever after' as the mother of her country. That would work for me!

  32. Laura Avatar

    I haven't seen it, amazingly, considering I have four daughters. I'm sort of anti-Disney princess. I mean, my girls go ga-ga over Disney princess clothing and Halloween costumes, but we don't own a single movie starring a princess. They've never seen any of them. I'm annoyed the way they always kill off the mom immediately! Even in NEMO. Fuckers.

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  33. Erika Jurney Avatar

    Laura,

    I know, the first couple of times I just thought "OK, strange coincidence" but now I'm like "What the fuck is your problem with moms??" Walt had issues.

  34. electriclady Avatar

    My daughter was given a big deluxe illustrated Disney Cinderella book for Easter by one of her great-aunts…something that would NOT have entered our home were it up to me. I tried hiding it (could not bring myself to throw it out) but she dug it up and wants me to read it to her all the time. (She's almost 18 months old.) I think she just likes the colorful pictures, but the "novelized" story is heinous. The first page has something about how every night Cinderella dreamed of falling in love and getting away from her stepmom forever. Because, you know, falling in love is the answer to everything.

    I get around it by not really reading the actual story, just commenting on the pictures, and inserting my own editorials–"Now, Cinderella and the Prince only THINK they're in love, but they haven't actually spoken, so they're not REALLY in love."

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  35. Erika Jurney Avatar

    electriclady, Most novelizations are bad, but I think you've probably found the worst one in existence.

    I guess it's too early to explain that the prince and cinderella are not in love, they just have The Hots? Yeah, though so…

  36. Danielle Avatar
    Danielle

    I loved TLM the first time I watched it. Beautiful animation, great songs and a story about having enough strength, courage and determination to change one's destiny. OK so she is a teenager full of youthful idealism-but what is wrong with that? It is a story that also shows us the consequences of her actions. Ariel wanted to be part of the human world long before she met Eric, he was just the catalyst to push her along the way sooner. Fortunately, she gets her fairy tale ending-but that is what this story is. It is certainly a story that could spark a great conversation amongst parents and their kids about changing personal circumstances. Interestingly enough, Ariel is an old biblical name and is the name of the Archangel of Healing and New Beginnings.

  37. shannel Avatar
    shannel

    you seriosuly got problems

    let the children be kids for a while

    when they can

    you have nothing to do

    if you are real mother you want your child happy

  38. Erika Jurney Avatar

    you shur putt me in my plase, shannel

  39. Steph Avatar
    Steph

    I grew up with this movie, literally, it came out the year I was born and I’m wearing a Little Mermaid tee shirt right now. While I agree that from a “feminist” point of view this isn’t a good movie face it, NO Disney movie is good from a feminist’s point of view. I mean if you’re going to rag about Little Mermaid then please I hope you do one for Snow White (she’s 14 in the movie people), Cinderella ( knows the guy for about 3 hours and marries him) and Beauty and the Beast (because his horrible temper and verbal abuse means he loves you and will eventually change) *rolls eyes* When you’re looking at the competition a girl who is willing to give up her home to live her dream of living on the land doesn’t seem so bad now does it.

    I’m also going to assume you never read the original Hans Christian Andersen, http://hca.gilead.org.il/li_merma.html , because in that one she gives up her voice and home. And FAILS. Yes the prince marries someone else and will die the morning after. So her wonderful sisters give her a knife and tell her if she kills the prince as his blood pours onto his feet she will be turned back into a mermaid and be able to go home . But she doesn’t kill him instead she dies and becomes a spirit who must sacrifice herself for 300 years until she can earn a soul and go to heaven.

    Disney version doesn’t sound so bad now does it.

  40. Erika Jurney Avatar

    The ‘it could be worse’ style of debate has never really worked for me.

  41. Angela Avatar
    Angela

    I think you all are totally missing the point of the story.

    First, the story isn’t originally by Disney. It’s by an author called Hans Christian Anderson, who brought us stories like The Ugly Duckling and Thumbelina.

    In the original story, she saves the human prince from drowning and falls in love with him. However, when he wakes up, there is a girl from a convent up the hill who happened to find him while she was walking on the beach.

    With the help of the sea witch, the mermaid becomes human, however not only does she not have a voice, but being how she’s supposed to have fins, it’s extremely painful for her to walk. As she’s trying to get the prince to kiss her (which is symbolic for him falling in love with her), he’s fallen for the other girl, thinking she was the one who rescued him. He marries her, and she becomes so sad, she dies. The spirits take pity on her, and turn her into an angel.

    Disney’s version of The Little Mermaid is not at all what you’re saying it to be. And since this is my favorite movie, I can’t let you trash it without clearing up some points.

    First off, the person who tells her to use her body language is Ursula. The villainess. She’s trying to convince Ariel to give up her voice, so Ursula can use it later to her advantage. So since Ariel doens’t know anything about humans, she tells her that human men prefer for their women to not talk much. As for the body language, people who are mute often use body language to get their points across. Ursula telling Ariel to use body language doesn’t necessarily mean for her to use her boobs to get his attention. But that’s what you want to read into it, she’s being told to do so by the bad person in the story. Also, she tells her that she could never return home because she would have turned the king’s daughter into a human. And as for her telling Ariel she could never come home, again, I have to point out that she is the villainess. Everything she is telling Ariel is to get her to accept the deal. She’s planning on using Ariel as a bargaining chip.

    As for teaching kids that their parents are wrong, what it does is show children that parents aren’t always right. Look at the issue of slavery. Somewhere down the line, a cycle was broken, where a child saw their parents owning another person, and thought to themselves that was wrong. If we all believed that what our parents do or believe is the right thing, society would never evolve.

    Her father, the king, believed that humans are evil. Ariel had the heart to believe otherwise. Through the objects she found in shipwrecks, she saw the good in humans, and believed in that. So when she fell in love with a human, it was that goodness that gave her the resolve to love him, even though it went against what her father wanted for her.

    And even after her father found out, and told her that a relationship with him would be impossible, she didn’t listen. She had the courage to believe in her heart. And she set out to make her dreams come true. She didn’t wallow in the lot she was casted, or lament that she was a mermaid and he was human and they couldn’t be together. She made it happen by seeking out someone who could help. Granted, she went to the wrong person, but we all make mistakes.

    She gets the prince to fall in love with her without the use of her voice to clue him in that she was the one who rescued him. Which I think is wonderful. He fell in love for who she was, and not the fact that she saved his life.

    When Ursula interferred, and caused Ariel to fail, Eric went after her. Even after learning that she was really a mermaid, he loved her and he wasn’t going to lose her. He went up against a scary octopus woman, something he probably never heard about let alone seen before, showing just how much he loved her.

    This movie taught me to not be afraid to love who I love, regardless of where they come from or if they are different from me, something I really don’t think my parents would support. It also taught me to go for my dreams. That I have to take steps to make them happen. And that if you believe in the good in people, they can surprise you.

    In the end, her father realize just how much she loved him and turned her in a human himself. He knew he couldn’t keep her forever. So he let her go. And not only did she show up to the wedding, along with the rest of her family and friends, but he sent them off with a rainbow ( and presumably safe sailing).

    Your assessment of the movie just shows that you weren’t really paying attention. Or maybe you were one of those people who swore SEX was spelled out in the stars in the lion king instead of SFX (for special effects).

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