Back Off, Santa!

(Yeah, I know it is only the beginning of November, but I’m gonna go there.)

Everything you’ve heard is true, my kids don’t really have Christmas stockings. Last year, sigh, Santa had to leave their stocking loot on the couch next to the unassembled carcasses of their stockings. Yes, I am a Crap Mom.

This year, however, I WILL FINISH ALL THE STOCKINGS BEFORE XMAS. The end. I don’t care what else happens. And of course, they aren’t just regular size stockings — I had to go and choose the 28″ ones. So if you see my blog go dark mid-December you will know what is going on. Just imagine me sequining my butt off. And cursing.

I have to go from this:

box.JPG

To this:

stockings.jpg

And what does it say about my work ethic that I stole those pictures from eBay!?

Let the Holiday Season of Guilt and Sleepless Nights Commence!


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14 responses to “Back Off, Santa!”

  1. Diana Avatar

    OhmiGod, I have had one of those hell-ish sequined stocking projects packed away for the past 6, yes SIX years. I finally sent it to my mom. I have no work ethic for that, heck I don’t even have the motivation to sew the top hems on the outrageously simple ones I cut from two pieces of fabric and sort-kinda sewed together three years ago. I just keep putting the goods in the not-even-half-done stockings year-after-year-after-year. LOL!

  2. Oh, The Joys Avatar

    You are Santa’s Little Overacheiver, me thinks. Mine will get put in a tube sock from 1973.

  3. Plain Jane Mom Avatar

    Diana — my mom, now why didn’t I think of that…

    Jessica — I am totally Santa’s bitch.

  4. Domestic Goddess Avatar

    Steal away on those photos. You have the package already, no need to duplicate all that work of scanning pictures now is there.

    good luck on the socks!

  5. Just another Mom Avatar
    Just another Mom

    First of all, I bought our stockings. Secondly, Santa and his Mrs. don’t comunicate very well because: while there is a full stocking hung by the chimney with care there is also a CVS bag overflowing underneath it!!!!!So, you my friend are just fine!!!!

  6. Peg Avatar

    Well, at least you are organized enough to have this stuff in a rubbermaid bin!

    Me? Strewn hither and yon in my cellar. In various boxes, bins, grocery bags. Egads, I can’t post a photo, for it would tell the world what a lazy, disorganized slob of a mom I am.

    So, I bought home-made ‘looking’ stockings at the Christmas Tree Shops!! Now, if I can only find the Stop and Shop bag I shoved them into last year…

  7. K. Avatar

    here is what you tell yourself: you could be the kind of craftster mom who makes her own christmas decorations by hand and then takes beautiful soft focus photographs of them and posts them up to make all the rest of feel like inadequate slobs. you could, but you choose instead to use your creative energy to write engaging, self-effacing blog entries that make all the rest of us inadequate slobs feel a little less alone in the world.

    Throw out those bins and don’t ever stop blogging.

  8. Plain Jane Mom Avatar

    Domestic Goddess — thanks. I am determined!

    Just another Mom — I hear you, and thanks!

    Peg — I have to keep it in a box or Chip and his big brothers would start tatooing themselves with the needles or something. Sigh.

    K — You cracked me up. And cheered me up greatly. Thank you!

  9. crunchy carpets Avatar

    Shit i just bought ours.

    And when i was a kid we just used one of dads!

  10. Mrs. Flinger Avatar

    Um, Jane? Honey? I got LB a regular ol’ stocking and gave her a few oranges. Guilt free. ;-)

  11. Jamie Avatar

    Don’t feel bad. I am not crafty at all. I give you thumbs up for even attempting this. I’m wanting to do some personalized photo calendars for family presents but I can see it turning into one of those many unfinished projects that goes to the crafter’s graveyard.

    My girls’ stockings were given to them by my mom. I’ve already started putting some stocking stuffers aside that I’ve found at dollar stores, etc. I almost enjoy shopping for their little stocking stuffers more than presents, which I will wait until the very last minute and probably find online. Is that weird? Wait, don’t answer that.

  12. Plain Jane Mom Avatar

    I feel much better — thank you all!

  13. […] I am currently trying to finish up the blasted Christmas stockings. I’ve mostly finished Mike’s, and Robbie’s will be done enough to be recognizable, but I make few guarantees about Chip’s. That’s the burden of being only 2. […]

  14. […] For years I’ve had three projects which have been nagging at me every year from Halloween until Christmas: Christmas stockings for my three boys. I’ve always thought I would make them fabulous stockings, and somehow the thought of actually finishing them was just so daunting. It seemed like they would have to be the most perfect, be-all end-all stockings as a testament to my love for my kids. […]

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