Comments on: Being pushed into the fiery pit of a stranger's bottled-up anger. Fun times! http://blog.erikajurney.com/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/ My life in Palo Alto, California. Sat, 04 Feb 2012 12:39:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Bill Fix http://blog.erikajurney.com/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44918 Bill Fix Wed, 06 Jun 2007 14:28:26 +0000 http://blog.erikajurney.com/2007/05/03/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44918 I believe that rage is a landmine we sometimes step into as we travel through life. The proper response is probably not to drop a few bombs of our own to get even. I believe we also place these landmines when we are really upset about something and our spouses and people we live the most, sorta walk into them. So what is the solution? Being aware of them. Identifying them immediateely as a landmine when we set one off. I think we can buffer the explosion by trying to identify with the person. I am not talking about someone who is ripping off our mirror in traffic but the normal landmines we step into. Sometimes we need to just call the police when the situation seems dangerous. Most of the time a sincere apology for tripping their trigger, works. Usually losing our cool escalates the situation. One more thing, I try to see the bit of truth in all the irritated complaints that I get and there usually is some truth. I believe that rage is a landmine we sometimes step into as we travel through life. The proper response is probably not to drop a few bombs of our own to get even. I believe we also place these landmines when we are really upset about something and our spouses and people we live the most, sorta walk into them. So what is the solution? Being aware of them. Identifying them immediateely as a landmine when we set one off. I think we can buffer the explosion by trying to identify with the person. I am not talking about someone who is ripping off our mirror in traffic but the normal landmines we step into. Sometimes we need to just call the police when the situation seems dangerous. Most of the time a sincere apology for tripping their trigger, works. Usually losing our cool escalates the situation.

One more thing, I try to see the bit of truth in all the irritated complaints that I get and there usually is some truth.

]]> By: Heather http://blog.erikajurney.com/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44917 Heather Fri, 04 May 2007 23:36:48 +0000 http://blog.erikajurney.com/2007/05/03/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44917 I've been both on the giving and receiving ends of it. Not really fun on either side. I’ve been both on the giving and receiving ends of it. Not really fun on either side.

]]> By: jj http://blog.erikajurney.com/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44916 jj Fri, 04 May 2007 15:56:46 +0000 http://blog.erikajurney.com/2007/05/03/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44916 re: the car incident, life is poetic that way. your post, as presented, left so many varying "perspectives" in my mind. one moment, i was in the car with you, the next on the street with the car handler. we dance that street ballet everyday. interesting post. re: the car incident, life is poetic that way. your post, as presented, left so many varying “perspectives” in my mind. one moment, i was in the car with you, the next on the street with the car handler. we dance that street ballet everyday. interesting post.

]]> By: Dandra http://blog.erikajurney.com/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44915 Dandra Fri, 04 May 2007 15:52:57 +0000 http://blog.erikajurney.com/2007/05/03/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44915 Well, let me start by saying, I'm from the South.. So if you know Southern People, you can totally sympathize with this story. My married friends, Gene and Joy, took their 3 kids out for a ride one Saturday afternoon. Gene and another driver exhcanged some works (and gestures) in regards to Gene's mad driving skills. So Gene pulled over so that he could, "Talk to man to man." The guy proceeds to pull Gene through the car window as Gene screams, "Joy, get the crowbar!!" The guy then proceeds to "mop the floor" with Gene right beside his carload of children as Joy continues to hunt for the crowbar under her carseat. Once Gene has been beaten to within an inch of his life, the guy returns to his car and drives off as Gene gets back into the car, holding a handful of his teeth. Joy immediately (and excitedly) screams, "Looky Honey, I found the crowbar"!! Yea, thy're divorced now.... Well, let me start by saying, I’m from the South.. So if you know Southern People, you can totally sympathize with this story.

My married friends, Gene and Joy, took their 3 kids out for a ride one Saturday afternoon. Gene and another driver exhcanged some works (and gestures) in regards to Gene’s mad driving skills. So Gene pulled over so that he could, “Talk to man to man.”

The guy proceeds to pull Gene through the car window as Gene screams, “Joy, get the crowbar!!”

The guy then proceeds to “mop the floor” with Gene right beside his carload of children as Joy continues to hunt for the crowbar under her carseat.

Once Gene has been beaten to within an inch of his life, the guy returns to his car and drives off as Gene gets back into the car, holding a handful of his teeth.

Joy immediately (and excitedly) screams, “Looky Honey, I found the crowbar”!!

Yea, thy’re divorced now….

]]> By: Melanie http://blog.erikajurney.com/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44914 Melanie Fri, 04 May 2007 04:36:08 +0000 http://blog.erikajurney.com/2007/05/03/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44914 I used to work in the middle of a massive cube farm, and I befriended a new employee. We worked together and took walks at lunch together, and she would vent about various things in her life while I walked, more or less silently, at her side. (It is important to add the 'silently' at this time. I never offered advice or much of any commentary besides "Oh," "Wow," "Goodness," and the like.) Anyway. Middle of a massive cube farm. One day she told me that she and her husband were going to start trying to have a family, and I responded warmly, "Oh, wow. That's great! I've never regretted a minute of being a mom." And. She. ExPLODED on me. In the middle of the huge cube farm. With many many heads popping over the tops of the cube walls. She told me she was sick of all of us superior condescending bitches implying that we were ahead of her in the parenting race, and so on. Meanwhile, I'm standing there with my jaw on my chest, completely taken aback by this unexpected attack. I finally just said, "I'm sorry you feel this way," and walked away. To my cube, one over. Where I could hear her muttering for like ten minutes afterward. And so I sent her an apology by e-mail; she bounced it back to me liberally laced with more insults. Finally, I went to my supervisor and "confessed" what had happened; I told her exactly what I had said, but omitted a lot of what the other person had said - I wasn't tattling, I was trying to avoid being sabotaged. The supe was as confused by it as I was, but agreed to let it ride. Three days later? The new girl no-call, no-showed. I am still at a complete loss as to what it was I said that was so awful. I used to work in the middle of a massive cube farm, and I befriended a new employee. We worked together and took walks at lunch together, and she would vent about various things in her life while I walked, more or less silently, at her side. (It is important to add the ‘silently’ at this time. I never offered advice or much of any commentary besides “Oh,” “Wow,” “Goodness,” and the like.)

Anyway. Middle of a massive cube farm. One day she told me that she and her husband were going to start trying to have a family, and I responded warmly, “Oh, wow. That’s great! I’ve never regretted a minute of being a mom.”

And. She. ExPLODED on me. In the middle of the huge cube farm. With many many heads popping over the tops of the cube walls.

She told me she was sick of all of us superior condescending bitches implying that we were ahead of her in the parenting race, and so on.

Meanwhile, I’m standing there with my jaw on my chest, completely taken aback by this unexpected attack. I finally just said, “I’m sorry you feel this way,” and walked away. To my cube, one over. Where I could hear her muttering for like ten minutes afterward. And so I sent her an apology by e-mail; she bounced it back to me liberally laced with more insults.

Finally, I went to my supervisor and “confessed” what had happened; I told her exactly what I had said, but omitted a lot of what the other person had said – I wasn’t tattling, I was trying to avoid being sabotaged. The supe was as confused by it as I was, but agreed to let it ride.

Three days later? The new girl no-call, no-showed.

I am still at a complete loss as to what it was I said that was so awful.

]]> By: Maria P. http://blog.erikajurney.com/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44913 Maria P. Fri, 04 May 2007 03:49:00 +0000 http://blog.erikajurney.com/2007/05/03/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44913 First, I'm glad I'm not the only one who waits until the last possible second to get gas. LOL Also who hasn't ended up in that kind of position? I do every so often at work because our company gives very special treatment to our executives and everyone moves like the building is on fire to get things done for them. So when something ends in my lap through no fault of my own, I get an earful for something that I didn't do. Thats life I guess. First, I’m glad I’m not the only one who waits until the last possible second to get gas. LOL

Also who hasn’t ended up in that kind of position? I do every so often at work because our company gives very special treatment to our executives and everyone moves like the building is on fire to get things done for them. So when something ends in my lap through no fault of my own, I get an earful for something that I didn’t do. Thats life I guess.

]]> By: mamatulip http://blog.erikajurney.com/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44912 mamatulip Thu, 03 May 2007 22:18:34 +0000 http://blog.erikajurney.com/2007/05/03/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44912 Most of the times that I've gotten an earful from someone, now that I think about it, have been when I've been driving. I was driving behind a car once that came to a stop very suddenly in the middle of a one-way, one-lane road and sat there. I got a bit impatient and tapped lightly on my horn, and the guy got out of his car and started toward me, screaming. I just pulled away from him, and luckily I could, because I think if I'd been unable to pull around his car he would have attacked me. Most of the times that I’ve gotten an earful from someone, now that I think about it, have been when I’ve been driving. I was driving behind a car once that came to a stop very suddenly in the middle of a one-way, one-lane road and sat there. I got a bit impatient and tapped lightly on my horn, and the guy got out of his car and started toward me, screaming.

I just pulled away from him, and luckily I could, because I think if I’d been unable to pull around his car he would have attacked me.

]]> By: Michelle http://blog.erikajurney.com/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44911 Michelle Thu, 03 May 2007 21:30:12 +0000 http://blog.erikajurney.com/2007/05/03/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44911 Oh man, I have one for you. About 7 years ago I was driving on a road that I wasn't familiar with. Apparently the two lanes merged suddenly, but I didn't know. I was busy watching the heavy traffic in front of me that was breaking, and the guy who wanted to merge next to me... pretty much lost his marbles because I almost pushed him off the road. It was completely unintentional. I didn't know it was a merge. However, he did - and he could have slowed down and not tried to play chicken. Of course I tried to apologize with hand signals for about a 1/4 mile... while he was giving me signals of his own. When the road opened to 2 lanes again, he pulled up next to me and literally... I am not kidding... rolled down his window, reached out of it, and tried to WRIP OFF THE SIDE-VIEW-WINDOW OF MY CAR! He was about 55-60 years old, which was even more shocking. In a BMW or Mercedes. In any case, the guy freaked me out so bad that I called the police for fear of him ramming me on purpose. Holy God! What would make a 60 yr old man climb out his car window to wrip off a 27 yr old girls Pontaic Sunbird window. For goodness sake - pull it together. Oh man, I have one for you. About 7 years ago I was driving on a road that I wasn’t familiar with. Apparently the two lanes merged suddenly, but I didn’t know. I was busy watching the heavy traffic in front of me that was breaking, and the guy who wanted to merge next to me… pretty much lost his marbles because I almost pushed him off the road. It was completely unintentional. I didn’t know it was a merge. However, he did – and he could have slowed down and not tried to play chicken. Of course I tried to apologize with hand signals for about a 1/4 mile… while he was giving me signals of his own. When the road opened to 2 lanes again, he pulled up next to me and literally… I am not kidding… rolled down his window, reached out of it, and tried to WRIP OFF THE SIDE-VIEW-WINDOW OF MY CAR! He was about 55-60 years old, which was even more shocking. In a BMW or Mercedes. In any case, the guy freaked me out so bad that I called the police for fear of him ramming me on purpose. Holy God! What would make a 60 yr old man climb out his car window to wrip off a 27 yr old girls Pontaic Sunbird window. For goodness sake – pull it together.

]]> By: Ivy http://blog.erikajurney.com/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44910 Ivy Thu, 03 May 2007 20:51:46 +0000 http://blog.erikajurney.com/2007/05/03/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44910 Just yesterday, actually, I was in line behind a woman that was actually checking out with her daughter, I had assumed she was checking out separately. When the cashier waved me to the front of the line, I asked the woman did she want to check out and she WENT OFF ON ME! It took me from calm to Very. Angry. in about 2 seconds. I had to walk away from the woman before I hit her, I was so mad. So, not just her rage, but mine too, after she flipped out on me. Oy. Just yesterday, actually, I was in line behind a woman that was actually checking out with her daughter, I had assumed she was checking out separately. When the cashier waved me to the front of the line, I asked the woman did she want to check out and she WENT OFF ON ME! It took me from calm to Very. Angry. in about 2 seconds. I had to walk away from the woman before I hit her, I was so mad.

So, not just her rage, but mine too, after she flipped out on me. Oy.

]]> By: Damselfly http://blog.erikajurney.com/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44909 Damselfly Thu, 03 May 2007 19:58:42 +0000 http://blog.erikajurney.com/2007/05/03/being-pushed-into-the-fiery-pit-of-a-strangers-bottled-up-anger-fun-times/#comment-44909 Some people are just angry people. One time while driving, I got the same comment you did, only with a f**cking in front of it. And I didn't even do anything wrong! Gaaah! Some people are just angry people. One time while driving, I got the same comment you did, only with a f**cking in front of it. And I didn’t even do anything wrong! Gaaah!

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