Embarrasing confession involving Olivia Newton John and the squishy mass between my ears.

I thoroughly enjoyed this post at Sarcastic Journalist. Except. Well, it reminded me of something really stupid I do.

I have never been able to remember the difference between “horizonal” and “vertical.” So when I was a kid I would remember it from the lyrics to “Let’s Get Physical”

I took you to an intimate restaurant,

Then to a suggestive movie

There’s nothin’ left to talk about,

Unless it’s horizontally

So what’s so embarrasing about that? I STILL DO IT. In my head I sing “hor-i-zon-taly-yy!” and then I know which one I mean, because even I can remember that proper Olivia Newton John probably only ever has sex lying down.

This comes up quite frequently in my work as a web designer, so probably once a week I have this song stuck in my head. And yes I know I’m a total dork.

Mr. Plain is going to laugh his ass off when he reads this because he’s forever teasing me about things I cannot remember. Like which county we live in. But bejeebus, Santa Clara and San Mateo counties are right next to each other, I have lived in both, and the boundary is close to where we live. He tells me to just remember something about where a creek runs, but you’ve got to be kidding me.

As you can see, it takes much more than ‘creek geography’ to help jog my memory. Now if someone would just write a song about Santa Clara. But then we could never move.