Halloween Horror Story: Where have I gone wrong?

My policy on Halloween candy is “Ohmygod, just eat it now so I don’t have to hear you whine about it.” In that spirit, the day after Halloween, my boys’ treat buckets were getting pretty low. So low, in fact, that they began pelting each other with candy they didn’t like.

So I asked them to put all the candy they didn’t like in a pile and then we divvied it all up according to who liked what. We were left with a pretty hefty pile of unloved candy, and much to my surprise, it consisted almost entirely of Snickers.

What the hell? Where have I gone wrong? There has been no other moment in my entire career as a parent when I have so seriously questioned my ability to be a good role model and shaper of young minds.

Behold the horror.

I’m so sorry you had to look at that.


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25 responses to “Halloween Horror Story: Where have I gone wrong?”

  1. Jean@workingmomma247 Avatar

    I'll just take that pesky Almond Joy off your hands. This is the only time I ever eat Almond Joys. Love those things!

    Looks like you've got quite the stock of Snickers to polish off. We got one or two but not a bucket full!

  2. Nicole/wksocmom Avatar

    Yum, snickers. You're right, what is wrong with those kids?

    <abbr>Nicole/wksocmom´s latest post: Art for Halloween – Pt 2: How to Draw an Owl</abbr>

  3. Stimey Avatar

    My kids don't like Snickers bars either. Crazy little children, they are.

    <abbr>Stimey´s latest post: San Francisco or Bust</abbr>

  4. Tina Kubala Avatar

    Great news. I'd be hoping they never like 'em.

    <abbr>Tina Kubala´s latest post: Some Days It Isn't Worth Leaving the House</abbr>

  5. Kathy Avatar

    I'd love Snickers if it weren't for the peanuts (which, I guess would make them Milky Way bars).

    <abbr>Kathy´s latest post: NaNo, NaBlo — blah, blah, blah (Day One)</abbr>

  6. catnip Avatar

    Look at the bright side – now they belong to you!

    <abbr>catnip´s latest post: crocheted ssssssnake</abbr>

  7. Sunshine Avatar

    There must be some sort of child services hotline I could call. NO SNICKERS? That's like the go-to candy bar!! Can't decide what to buy in the candy aisle. Just get a snickers!

    You may need to call a trained professional.

    <abbr>Sunshine´s latest post: Halloween Wrap Up</abbr>

  8. Cat Avatar

    That is disturbing. And my favorite, Almond Joy, floating helplessly amid a sea of dying Snickers. There has got to be an after school special in this somewhere.

    <abbr>Cat´s latest post: What Overcomes Me</abbr>

  9. Jen Avatar

    We don't like Snickers in our house either. I raised my kids to know that ruining smooth, delicious chocolate with hard nuts (hehe) is wrong, wrong, wrong.

    <abbr>Jen´s latest post: Real conversation with the vagabond</abbr>

  10. Robyn Avatar

    My son turned it down too. Only when I explained it was a chocolate bar was he willing to try it. But even then, he looked at me a little funny when chewing up peanuts with that teeny amount of chocolate.

    <abbr>Robyn´s latest post: Halloween at Who's the Boss?</abbr>

  11. maggie Avatar

    um, you can mail them to me. every. delicious. one.

    <abbr>maggie´s latest post: Peacocks and Pleasures</abbr>

  12. Erika Jurney Avatar

    Sorry Maggie, I offloaded them on my hapless coworkers this morning :)

  13. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    Mounds? Are you serious? Ugh. Kids, today.

  14. Sarah, Goon Squad Sa Avatar

    There is something wrong with your children. Seek professional help.

    <abbr>Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah´s latest post: I Did It</abbr>

  15. Jamie Avatar

    My kids won't eat Reeses cups so I purposely bought them to give out and then purposely forgot to open one bag.

    p.s. You could always give them the "when I was a kid I would ride my bike to the corner convenience mart without a helmet just to buy a Snickers bar…"

    <abbr>Jamie´s latest post: The Great Weenie Tossing Caper</abbr>

  16. kristina Avatar

    Your candy bowl and mine.

  17. LemonySarah Avatar

    Not to worry: Your kids will come around to Snickers.

    At my house, everybody shunned the weird Whoppers.

    <abbr>LemonySarah´s latest post: Bad News, Good Message.</abbr>

  18. j. Avatar
    j.

    what the hell?! i leave the country for one little semester and this happens? i'll have to work on this when i get back. until then, please forward me all unloved candy bars.

  19. Heather, Queen of Sh Avatar

    My eyes! My eyes! I am blind now!

    <abbr>Heather, Queen of Shake Shake´s latest post: Random Acts of Marital Unkindness</abbr>

  20. jules Avatar

    tragic! who in their right mind passes up the snickers?!

    <abbr>jules´s latest post: My Little Girl Loves MyePets</abbr>

  21. Meditations Avatar

    At least you asked them – you have a strong will – my hubby and I raided their buckets when they weren't looking – and trust me, the snickers were some of the first to go!!

    <abbr>Meditations´s latest post: ON SALE – HAIR DECO Gemstone Bobby Pin Hair Pins – YOUR CHOICE</abbr>

  22. Kim/hormone-colored Avatar

    Wow. I used to admire you and your parenting philosophies, but…whoa. That's a harsh image. It's going to be haunting me for days.

  23. Erika Jurney Avatar

    Kim,

    You're kind of fickle ;)

    E

  24. Cat Avatar

    I love your new page layout!

    <abbr>Cat´s latest post: Complaining in a Public Forum Part II</abbr>

  25. Erika Jurney Avatar

    Thanks Cat–there are still some tweaks I need to make, but it is pretty close to being done!

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