How did we end up as the home of all boys?

It’s kind of funny that we have 3 boys, because you’d think the odds would have given us a girl in the mix. But 3 boys it is and I love it, and here’s how it happened.

After we finished all the paperwork and associated errands for getting started with adoption, all that was left for us to do was twiddle our thumbs. And wait. And see what was going to happen. It was a strange time because not having gone through it before we didn’t know what to expect. It felt like we should be doing something, but there was nothing left. So we waited, but not for very long at all as it turned out.

We got The Phone Call! “A baby boy was just born! Come get him!” And we freaked out, and got plane tickets for the next day, and repeatedly answered the door as my mom and stepmom dropped off baby supplies that we hadn’t even had time to purchase, and we packed, and didn’t sleep, and raced to the airport.

And read parenting books on the airplane so we would have a chance of knowing what do do with an infant, and rented a mini van and a car seat, and drove 2 hours, and called the agency when we were about 20 minutes away.

And heard that there had been a problem.

We came home without a baby. Maybe I’ll write the rest of that story some day, but it’s still too much.

So we got set to wait again.

But we had gotten attached to the idea of having a boy. So we called the agency and said that we would prefer to adopt a boy. And we waited some more — longer this time.

And then we were tired of waiting. And this coincided with a time when I did not get sweaty palms and nearly vomit just thinking about driving on the freeway past the exit I used to get off at to go to the fertility doctor.

So.

So we decided that as long as there seemed to be no adoptive baby in our future we’d spin the fertility wheel one last time. One time and then no more.

And we won. I knew I was pregnant in a different way than the many times I had been pregnant before. I knew this one was going to make it past 8 weeks. I knew that if I miscarried again, it would be different because it would at least have made it longer.

I knew I was really pregnant when I went for the blood work. When they called with the results, I was pleased but I’d heard this news before.

We didn’t tell our families I was pregnant. My gut feelings aside, in all likelyhood I would miscarry again, so we didn’t tell the agency I was pregnant when we got The Phone Call from them the next day. Another baby boy was born — come get him!

We flew out there full of anticipation, but not quite as innocent as the first time.

And they handed him to me in his car seat. And I plucked out the tiniest baby I had ever seen. He was 5 pounds 6 ounces and incredibly alert. And I was suddenly his mom.

After we had been home for a few months we found out the sex of the baby I was amazingly still pregnant with: another boy! Excellent! We were so excited at the chance to raise brothers into men who would always have each other’s back.

Two years later we spun the fertility wheel again, and I got to stay pregnant with our third child. Since I was now over 35, we did the CVS test. This means that you can find out the sex very early in your pregnancy.

Did you see this coming?

At 12 weeks along I got a call at work saying that everything was genetically fine, and… it was another boy. We didn’t stop laughing for days!


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24 responses to “How did we end up as the home of all boys?”

  1. Rhonda Avatar

    Thanks for sharing your story. Even though my adoption journey is going to be quite different from yours, it’s nice to know that it will happen…someday.

  2. shaz Avatar

    awww, I’m so happy for you!! I actually got a little weepy at your story, the part about the miscarriages, (I had one of my own, but that’s not the reason) because I was on hospital bed rest for 2 months and I heard so many heart breaking stories of women who lost their babies, and I had so many roommates with so many problems, so trying to have a baby for the third and fourth times, it was just so sad for me, it just reminded me of how much we go through. enjoy them! ;)

  3. Jennifer Avatar

    It’s amazing to me how many women I know who have battled with infertility and loss. I’ve had 5 m/c, it took us 10 years to have a healthy baby, and this last pregnancy almost killed me. For real dude. Like the big dirt nap.

    We looked at adopting, but the wait….was..well….horrific. When the FIL told us that he would help pay for it to get the ball rolling (we needed 9k just for a retainer) we ended up pregnant again, this time she stuck. I’m high risk, with PCOS a bicornal uterus and a tipped cervix. Each thing reduced our chances. I really see our girls as little medical miracles.

    I’d like to adopt a baby, Glen isn’t convinced (yet), but I’d love to adopt a little boy, a toddler when the girls are older.

  4. Jennifer Avatar

    Yeah!!! What a terrific story!! I love happy endings…and boys!

  5. andria Avatar

    That was a great story!

    I really wanted a girl the first time I was pregnant, but after having one wanted another one. As much as I was overjoyed at having a girl this time, I still felt a little disappointed that I didn’t have a boy again. Boys are a lot of fun and they always love their mammas.

  6. laura Avatar

    beautiful story!

    we spun the wheeel a number of times and came up with GIRLS times 4! i finally got the boy 5 years after i was definitely done with babies. not necessarily so but he was the best 4oth birthday present a girl could ever get!

  7. Karen Avatar

    Amazing – what a perfect way to score three boys in a short time frame! I’m sure they are all perfect for each other and you!

  8. karrie Avatar

    Oh, how tiny! Mine was (almost) twice as big.

    I’m often surprised by how much fun little boys are.

  9. jody Avatar

    Oh, what a cool, cool story! Thanks for shaing it!

    We had our 3 boys first as well…….then 4 m/c, then a girl. We still can’t believe the girliness of her, being raised with 3 older brothers!

  10. Damselfly Avatar

    “We were so excited at the chance to raise brothers into men who would always have each other’s back.” This is basically what I tell my husband when we talk about having a second child and he says, “What if it’s another boy?” Who cares! It’s a baby! :)

  11. Kelly Avatar

    So…be careful what you ask for? LOL…great story!

  12. moodswingingmommy Avatar

    Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! What a roller coaster that must have been. Boys are so great!

  13. Karly Avatar

    My husband has two brothers and they are all so close. I’m sure you love watching the three of them turn into friends and not just family. :)

  14. Jen M Avatar

    What a fantastic story. Maybe someday you’ll share the first one? When it’s not as difficult?

  15. fidget Avatar

    My son is already hen pecked by his two pig sisters, I’d love another boy to grow up into men with him but I know in my heart another girl would be quite dandy too. Now I just have to convince the hubster. I’m sorry for your losses. I had back to back losses before I had my kids

  16. […] Go read her birth(s) story.  It is so great! […]

  17. Michael Davidsen Avatar

    It’s amazing how wide a heart can open, isn’t it, to make room for children?

  18. Amanda Avatar

    What a wonderful story – thank you for sharing!

  19. Cate Avatar

    Wow…what an amazing story! I’m sorry for your heartache with miscarriages and your first adoption experience, but glad that it all worked out in the end…and aren’t little boys absolutely wonderful?

  20. Oh, The Joys Avatar

    Erika – it’s so striking how matter of factly this post is written and yet all mothers read all that you aren’t saying and feel all that you must have felt.

    Great post!

    Jessica

  21. Wacky Mommy Avatar

    Great post, thank you. Have fun with the boyz.

  22. pelf Avatar

    Err.. Are boys any harder to raise compared to girls? I mean, my sister and I are the only two siblings, and we didn’t seem to give Mum much problems..

  23. PunditMom Avatar

    So much testosterone! I always hoped I would have a ‘we-adopted-and-then-we-got pregnant’ story. But it didn’t happen for us. So we’re holding at one!

  24. Sarah (In the Trenches of Mommyhood) Avatar

    As a fellow mother of 3 boyz, we can sympathize together about the over-abundance of testosterone in the house, the amount of pee that doesn’t quite make the toilet and the amount of times we say “Keep your hands to home!” in a day.

    Cheers mommy!

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