I really thought everyone knew this about Stairway to Heaven

I just relayed this information to a coworker and was surprised to learn that this isn’t universal knowledge. Her son had just been to his first high school dance and had danced with a girl for the first time.

I told her to tell him this.

“Stairway to Heaven” is the very best song to dance to if your partner is someone you like-like. At the beginning it is very slow and you can, gasp, Slow Dance. (Remember the first time you did that? I distinctly remember how surprised I was that the guy was so warm. I mean I don’t know what I expected exactly, but strangely enough, body heat startled me enough to where I remember it to this day mumble-mumble years ago.)

The only downside to Stairway to Heaven is the awkward middle part (the “bustle in your hedgerow” area) where it is neither slow nor fast. Take my advice, keep slow dancing. Well, unless your dance partner has turned out to be a creepy dead fish, then at this point you can start fast dancing just to get away.

The best part of Stairway to Heaven is the end (starting at the guitar solo) — definitely the place where you can start fast dancing, and it is really fun especially if your partner is having a good time too.

But here’s the kicker: if you are having SUCH a great time slow dancing and you are SOO in love, keep slow dancing during the fast part at the end. Then everyone will know that you’re Going Steady. So simple!

And there you have it, a complete high school relationship contained in one song. You’re welcome. Pass it along to your kids.

(This video is a really good live version of Stairway to Heaven.)


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7 responses to “I really thought everyone knew this about Stairway to Heaven”

  1. jodi Avatar

    That, might be the funniest thing I’ve ever read.

    jodi’s latest post: How Is It Possible I Can Be On Bedrest and Not Pregnant?

  2. jen Avatar

    Every day is an education. I never knew this, or maybe it’s just a USA thing.

    jen’s latest post: Killer titles

  3. Erika Jurney Avatar

    Jen, I think getting groped at a high school dance crosses all borders ;)

  4. laura Avatar

    oh my god the memories! my kids are just missing out, period!

    laura’s latest post: contemplating the new modern family

  5. Kathy Avatar

    I’m embarrassed to say I’ve never slow danced to “Stairway To Heaven.” I think the big slow dancing song when I was in school was Madonna’s “Crazy For You.”

    Kathy’s latest post: Does this look infected?

  6. susie Avatar

    And of course, most high school relationships only last as long as that song. You can have the attraction, first kiss and break up – all in the space of several minutes:)

    susie’s latest post: Life, Universe, Everything

  7. Erika Jurney Avatar

    Susie, yes — it really is quite beautiful!

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