I finally got around to replacing the lenses in my glasses, and hey… the world is pretty sharp now. But I ran into some real pieces of work at Lenscrafters.
The one I go to has just been totally remodelled, and instead of looking straight out of the 70s it is all very fancy. Enter college students.
Two young guys are talking about their sunglasses.
Those are dope!
Yeah, Men in Black wore those!
Do they make me look too feminine?
No! You look massive!
Is that good? I didn’t want to swing my head around to see how dude #1 reacted to being called massive. Was he mad? Did they go out in the parking lot and beat the crap out of each other? I, sadly, will never know.
a classic errand
The ‘glasses in about an hour’ slogan should have more emphasis on the ‘about’ part. I spent my hour at Target (yes, I drove the mini van over there. Yes, I was wearing a baseball cap. You wanna make something of it?) looking for Power Ranger underpants in a size 6, but I had to settle for some Sponge Bob…
Oh, and by the way to the woman in line in front of me. Yeah, I’m going to look at you weird if you need a bluetooth headset on your phone while waiting for the Target cashier. That’s just sad.
And to the brilliant marketers of Green Tea Gum: your slogan “Nature’s Antioxidant” made me laugh so hard even bluetooth stepford mom noticed.
but I don’t want to be late!
I get back to Lenscrafters at the appointed time and they go in the back to see what’s going on. My cell phone rings while I’m waiting and it is Mr. Plain telling me they called him and it is going to be another hour.
I found out from him before the folks in the store figured it out.
So I get home just in time to tuck the boys in and go out again. Did I mention that they told me to come back at 8:45pm? Sigh. That plus the fact that if my glasses aren’t PERFECTLY straight and even on my head I cannot breathe.
They had to bring in the poor technician from the back to do a professional straightening job. I believe that my head is crooked. Hey! Why aren’t any of you surprised by that?
Y’all are so harsh.
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I totally snorted over the bluetooth lady. Those headsets drive me insane.
I, too, laugh at every person with a bluetooth headset. Sorry, but you’re just not so important, that the phone must be attached to your ear at all times.
I really need to get new glasses…maybe I’ll have time next week. Oh wait, nope. I’m having a baby next week. Oh well.
I think that in manspeak, “massive” is a compliment. And that, in a nutshell, is the difference between men and women. I remember once Big Daddy told me I had a “tremendous ass” (that’s the word he used-”trememdous”)-and I was like “what the hell did you just say about me?” and he was like “no, no, it’s a compliment”. So I had to explain to him that “tremendous” when used in conjunction with “ass” is pretty much NEVER a compliment.
Don’t worry… my ears are crooked!! I can never get glasses or sunglasses to sit on my head straight. One of my eyebrows is always sticking out over the top.
Hmmm…I remember several years ago it was complementary to call a woman thick. So I would guess that massive is the natural progression form that.
I’m still not used to seeing people walking around talking on those headsets like it’s perfectly natural. I mean, I talk to myself, but, well, I know I look weird.
And what exactly does it mean when glasses make you look massive?
Are those the glasses in your blog photo? If so, they make you look massive – or something. SOmething cool anyway.
I got one of those bluetooth sets with my phone and I am boggled…why would I buy a teeny tiny phone and then wear these freaking HUGE headsets….I look like some sort of spacetool in them.
That green tea gum is NASTY. Don’t try it. [shudder]
I treat those Target cashiers with respect! I don’t want to bite the hand that feeds me.
Omigod, If I called my husband massive he would totally think I was talking about his penis and be on the biggest ego trip.
Oh, one of my ears is a teensy bit higher than the other. Nobody can tell (even when I had a pixie cut), but it makes my glasses crooked!
I’m in the same boat with the uneven ears crew. It was VERY noticeable in my last pair of glasses. Luckily, my son destroyed them this morning. :\
Then again, it could be that my crooked nose is doing it… (I didn’t even notice that my nose was crooked until I was 17!) (I’ve had glasses since I was 8.)