Do you really want to hear me complain about the economy or my resentment towards Alan Greenspan? In one way, we don’t have anything to complain about because we have shelter, food, clothing and so on, but on the other hand, no one really knows what’s going to happen in the coming months and years.
Will we keep our house, or will whichever bank holds our mortgage today decide to change our terms so drastically that we can’t make the payments? Will the jobs that Craig and I have had for years, which always seemed stable, suddenly disappear?
The cool vlogging project I hinted at earlier is not going to happen because the company folded.
The pile of ‘To Do’ ‘To Attend’ ‘To Fill Out and Return’ items on the kitchen table is officially overwhelming. I find myself stumped by a simple first grade questionnaire asking for our family’s roots — but we adopted Henry and don’t know his ‘roots’ so do we just use ours? Do we make a stink about how this is hard for some adopted kids, or do we just skip it and move on? What about next year — we used donor sperm to conceive our other two kids — does that make a difference? I’ve decided this question is just too damned hard to answer and I’m not going to think about it today.
My first priority is my actual paying day job, so I’m falling behind on my blog commitments, and not posting here in almost three weeks is only the tip of the iceberg.
How can I justify going to BlogHer this year with this fucked up money mess going on? The answer: I can’t, and it makes me incredibly sad.
So. This is my way of saying that it is probably for the best that I haven’t written anything here in a while, because no one wants to read multiple posts about me freaking out from stress. This way you get it all in one rambling, disjointed go.
xoxoxo,
E
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I think we’re all pretty much feeling the same way to some degree. You’re not alone. Everyone is just trying to stay hopeful despite the fear.
I’m sitting in our house with the heat at 65, just to keep our utilities down. Losing my job was a horrific eye opener and I admit I was thanking goodness that I hadn’t registered for blogher or booked my flight. I still have a room reserved, just in case, but I’m sad, too. For you. For me. For anyone who feels doubt about what they were confident about a year ago.
Ummm, aren’t we all stressing out?
My hubby just found out his job is dunzo a few weeks ago. We are in financial lockdown, and insanely still going forward with the DE cycle.
If I can whine at you, you can whine at us. I missed you.
Ditto. I feel the same way. I join you in your blog silence.
xoxo
we have twittered back and forth about some of this already so you know i feel your frustration.
and that first grade project?….there has to be a way we can make teachers be a little more sensitive to this fact without being the overwrought, strident type of mom, ya know? c’mon teachers, there is more than one way to make a family. catch up.
oh, and before i forget, do you mind pulling the weeds around our Japanese maple?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/adventuresinjuggling/3219954978/
thanks! ;)
I feel ya. I feel guilty for wanting to bitch about the economy when we have a shelter, food, clothing, and money in the bank. It feels wrong to talk about how much my retirement plan has tanked when I feel priviledged to have a retirement plan to begin with. A day hasn’t gone by where I haven’t thought of what could happen if my spouse or I lose our jobs.
The only way I am going to Blogher this year is if somebody else pays my way (which I am totally open to, if anyone feels so inclined!). And that leaves me sad too.
Jaysus effing christ, you know, I knew that your boys were adopted/donor sperm and yet…still guessed PREGNANT!!! on the vlogging post. I am sorry for being a jerk and forgetting all families don’t come together the same way and you know, me of all people, should know that too well.
Also, I get the reason for the silence; we’re all feeling ‘it’ right now, with ‘it’ being financial uncertainty, job insecurity, just uncertainty and insecurity all around. Don’t feel like you have to hide it, doll. We’re all right there with you guys.
What helps me is to realize that the future is no more or less predictable than it ever was, what’s different is that we think there is more uncertainty now than before because we’re suddenly confronted with the reality that bad things could happen. All those questions that you asked in the beginning of the post? Those were still valid questions a year ago, questions that you didn’t know the answer to – but a year ago you weren’t even thinking of asking the questions and now you are, so things feel less predictable. I can’t change or predict what’s going to happen in the future, so there’s no sense worrying about it – and tomorrow I could be hit by a bus and all that worrying would have been for naught anyway!
Sorry about the clueless teacher, I’d love to hear how you end up resolving it so I can think about how I might potentially handle the same situation in the future.
Hey – were you going to work for Capessa too? I just read your post and it sounded familiar…
Tabitha — yep, that’s who it was :(
I think many of us can relate to the feeling of nervousness that comes across in your post. Sometimes I just want to huddle up and hope for the best, and only come out when things are better – but the ostrich approach never did work well for me so I’ve made a positive decision to worry only about those things I can control, and not stress about that which I cannot influence or change. No easy feat – at all – but it helps give me some clarity and perspective on priorities.
Yeah, it totally sucks all around.
Boo on everything related to the bad economy. I keep hoping it will get better. And sad that you won’t be at BlogHer. Have you thought of volunteering to get a free pass? I know a couple of people who have done it and they still had a good time. Of course Chicago is a long ways from California, bummer!
It’s a crazy stressful time for sure. I can’t even complain when Todd works late because he’s you know..working! I’m sad you can’t come to Blogher. The only reason I’m going is cause it’s in Chicago. And I’m going to see if I can beg my way into volunteering.
If I can do anything to help promote your ventures just let me know!
I can only add: I hear ya.
Aaron’s 3-month contract job is coming to an end, and I’m back to worrying about keeping the house, paying the bills, etc. This economy sucks.
I miss you. And I’ll miss you at BlogHer if I get to go, which isn’t looking good for me either.
You don’t have to always be sunshine and light for me to want to hang around. Just so you know.
I’d chest bump but then I might spray milk all over you.
I feel ya.
Things seem very uncertain right now and it seems selfish to spend time on non-paying (or at least non-paying my IRL work rate) projects. Unless they let off steam.
Anyway, glad to hear you are more or less okay. Hope to continue to “hear” your voice coming through across my screen…now and again.
I’m taking it in stride. We’ve been poor before. If we have to handle it again, we’ll be able to, especially since this time we have, not a baby and a toddler on our hands, but a 13yo and a 16yo who can contribute. So far so good, except for that market crash in October – we did take a hit. There will be changes though. I’m planning a “recession vacation” with my family this summer. Long story short, we’re going to an event that has a low fee and discount hotel rates, and is also 2 hours away so we won’t have to fly. Not sure what we’ll do after that, but I see a lot of camping in our future, as well as exploring the great state of Ohio! LOL
Your tone seems to be the tone of the country it seems…sad.
I’m begging for a blogger volunteership as well this year and am crossing my fingers. That with my Southwest pass I’m stealing from Da Husband, and I finally should be able to go. We’ll see. I bet you of all people could swing a volunteership from Blogher…
I totally hear you. I have a pretty stable job, but who can’t be worried? Hang in; we will weather the storm.
It is so tough to live with the uncertainty these days. I don’t blame you at all for focusing on your livelihood. My husband is an engineer in manufacturing, and so we’ve had our share of nail-biting and financial strategy sessions, that’s for sure.
As for BlogHer… I live only about 2 hrs. from Chicago and I’m not going for the same reasons. I just can’t afford to drop the cash if we’re not sure how this year will go. It may not help the economy, but we’re spending as little as possible and socking away as much as we can into savings.
You’ve gotta do what you gotta do.
- Julia
The project looked like a lot of fun, it’s too bad. Maybe it can be brought back once the economy turns around. Your preview was very clever.
Thank you for saying what we all are thinking and feeling. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one crazy worried about tomorrow and the federal banking system and the trillion $$ debt. I mean I’ve been to stores were it’s like so busy and I’m wondering if people just don’t watch the news or what. It is what it is and we can’t change it, so why worry? It’s a terrible habit I’ve acquired over the years :-). So keep your chin up and buckle down for the storm. It too shall pass.
Paula
Howdy! So here’s my 6 cents on the ‘family roots’ questionnaire. You DO realize that no matter what y’all put on there (in the privacy of your own home) the information somehow magically appears on the walls of your kids school so that EVERYONE now knows yer business, eh? As the kids get older – the questions get more intrusive and embarrassing for you and the kids.
Kindergarten assignment: Family Tree (time to explain to a 5yo that Daddy’s, grandmother (his mother’s mother) married his grandfather (his father’s father) Voila! Daddy only has one set of grandparents, or so it was poorly explained to him and he was probably 13 before he knew that most folks had TWO sets of grandparents.
1st grade assignment: What is Mommy’s hobby? (She’s sits on the computer and surfs the internet all day while I’m at school)
2nd grade: What does Mommy do for a living? (NOTHING! She sit’s on the computer and surfs the internet all day)
3rd grade: Where does Mommy work? (Since the economy has taken a dive, and Mommy lost her job surfing the internet, she now works on the corner of 14th and Broadway. Daddy always says how pretty she looks and hopes that someone named John pays her well.)
Lesson for all you blogHers when faced with these questionnaires: MAKE IT UP! Tell your children that the teacher really wants them to be creative, some of you excel at this. No time like the present to help the kids with a creative writing lesson.
You can hold your head up high walking the halls of the school ‘knowing’ that you are the CEO of a fortune 500 company, the last family vacation was a trip to the Riviera and you sold your latest iPhone App for $6 million.
AND – when Junior gets in trouble, the school’s not too interested in punishing him after reading that Junior’s Dad is a prominent lawyer.
Signed: Dr. Mom (in addition to being a CEO, it’s also good to be a physician. Those notes from the Dr. can be pesky little nuisances on your ‘to do’ list. When they’ve already read that you’re a physician, Junior will never have an unexcused abscence.)
By the time Jr. is in the 5th grade he’s got a book deal with Simon and Schuster and when the school ask’s about your CEO position – You can honestly comment “Wow, my son was really creative – even back in Kindergarten!”
M