My Label Maker is Broken This Week

Guest post by Megan of Velveteen Mind

I’m sick of Matt Lauer calling me names. We get along well enough over coffee every morning, though our conversations can be a little one-sided. However, over the last few months, he’s been getting a little too zealous in the name game.

If I’m not a Soccer Mom, I’m an Alpha Mom. If I’m not a Security Mom, I’m a Slacker Mom. I can’t just be a mom looking to go back to work after my kids begin school full time, no, I have to be a Comeback Mom. And please don’t make me register on the Good Mom or Bad Mom list. It never ends with these labels! Any NASCAR Dads out there have my back on this one? High five! Shake-n-Bake!

All of these labels for parents are getting tiresome. And it doesn’t end with parents. I heard a radio interview the other day about certain presidential candidates having the edge with Single Anxious Females, aka SAF’s. What? Are you kidding me? They need a name? A category? Metrosexuals certainly did and, look, it got them a TV show on Bravo!

Alas, it is all about marketing.

Shameless marketing, to be specific. While watching the TODAY Show on NBC (okay, okay, that’s where I see Matt Lauer every morning) a few weeks ago, they had on an author and her accomplice/ coiner-of-phrases talking about Alpha Moms, the subject of the author’s book or website or current cult du jour. When the interviewer asked the accomplice about how she came up with the term “Alpha Mom,” the woman actually said, “Well, [the author] needed a title for her book…” and then got a sort of startled deer-in-the-headlights look on her face. Oh, honey, you aren’t supposed to openly acknowledge that you came up with the term for marketing purposes only! You are supposed to at least pretend that it has some kind of relevance.

Ah well. Who are we kidding? And I’m such a sucker for it.

Just consider my coffee mug. Sitting here contemplating my mommyblogger coffee mug (because I am a Coffee Drinker, not a Tea Drinker), I would be a fool not to mention my current favorite distinctions: MommyBlogger vs. ThinkingBlogger. Do those two need to be mutually exclusive? And yet they seem to magically draw some kind of line around us, pigeonholing us, boxing us in and away from a larger audience. A larger community.

While at the playground the other day, I watched my toddler son running around with all of the kids, playing a little bit of tag, a little bit of hide and seek, a little bit of pretend tea party, a little bit of “race me!” He seemed to be oblivious to the fact that these games were being run by mini-gangs, mini-mob families. And honey, you are not a “made guy!” What are you thinking? What if they don’t want you in their group?

He didn’t seem to notice the lines I had drawn around these little groups of kids. You know, the GAP kids, the shy kids, the bad kids, the awkward kids, the bully kids, the too-old-for-babies kids. Heck, even the girls and the boys. He saw no barriers. He saw only potential friends. So he moved effortlessly in and out of the groups, never hesitating, and having a ball.

The labels were meaningless. But had he given them power, they would have prevented him from making a playground’s worth of friends.

While I was in college, I heard a friend respond to a question of whether or not the girl he was currently dating was his girlfriend or not that “my label maker is broken this week.” No more needling, no more questions, that was that. It was so simple and effective. And such a sound point. Just let them be. It’s enough just trying to figure it out for themselves.

Man, there is a mighty big playground out there. And my label maker is broken this week, so let’s see what new friends I can find.

Guest post by Megan of Velveteen Mind


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30 responses to “My Label Maker is Broken This Week”

  1. Annie Avatar

    Just came here, via your own blog and am amused to find that we have posted along very similar lines today. I had only come across the Alpha Mom thing for the first time on this morning’s Today Show and it ticked me off enough to blog about it myself – ‘ditto buddies’ indeed!

  2. Joy, of course! Avatar

    Wonderful post. The Matt Lauer thing had me chuckling and how insightful to notice that the groups we see are invisible to little eyes. The should be to ours. “My label maker is broken this week” may become a permanent quip. Really great!

  3. PunditMom Avatar

    Wonderful post. Will there ever be a day when we can toss out the label maker?

  4. My Label Maker is Broken This Week…

    Comeback moms and NASCAR dads, really? Does everyone need a label? Or can we just be people? GASP!…

  5. boogiemum Avatar

    My hubby and I were just discussing this same topic this morning after the Alpha/Beta mom today show segment.

    Awesome post, I wish they had YOU on the Today show!

  6. Dont Avatar
    Dont

    Matt Lauer labels everyone… do we have a label for him yet??? OH wait……. ( putting hand over mouth)!

  7. andi Avatar

    Amen, sister. I’m dreaming of punching him in the teeth as we speak.

  8. AbsolutelyBananas Avatar

    One of my FAVORITE bloggers does it again. Great post, Megan. So where do we get our “throw out the label maker!” t-shirts?

  9. Sonia Avatar

    I get very tired of all the labeling as well. Gee, aren’t people just a little bit more complex than fitting neatly into one category? Wow, it looks like you were actually Thinking and a Mommy at the same time…Matt Lauer would be pissed.

  10. Kelly Avatar

    I have been hearing a lot lately about the labeling of bloggers, and this perhaps is one of the best. Great guest post!

  11. Plain Jane Mom Blog…

    Plain Jane Mom Blog. Parenting Sons in California. Working Mother of Three Boys. Wife of One Husband. Isn’t that enough?…

  12. Heather Avatar

    I think Jenny is on to something here. let’s all have a “Crafty-Mom” moment and make that T shirt!

    I dropped Matt Lauer after 9-11 when he SO obviously played on a child’s emotions who had lost his mom in the twin towers. He and I were over after that.

    Great post Megan!

    Albert Einstein always said that children had the greatest minds of all. And they do. Your son proved it on the playground that day.

  13. Audrey - Pinks & Blues Girls Avatar

    Good for you girl! I couldn’t agree with you more!! I love everything you said – why don’t you send this post to a producer at the Today Show!!??

    Love your blog!

    – Audrey

    Pinks & Blues Girls

  14. Megan (Velveteen Mind) Avatar

    For the record, I do realize that Matt Lauer does not write these segments. In fact, half the time he has a rather distinct “are they kidding me with this stuff” look on his face as he reads the prompter. Which brings me to my next point:

    I secretly have a crush on Matt Lauer. Could you not tell? Note to TODAY show producers reading this: I will not let on that I have a crush on your anchor when you fly me to New York to talk about how ya’ll are driving me nuts with the labels. Oh, and I’m totally cute in a normal and not-at-all-cutesy way (I noted that Katie Couric got the boot, good call), so people won’t flip over to that loser of morning shows, Good Morning America, while I’m on putting Meredith to shame.

    Thanks for the comments, ya’ll! How much fun is this guest blogger deal? Plain Jane Mom, UR my HeroBlogger.

    BTW, I totally want the “label maker” shirt, too. Can I just say that the guy friend that said that was a seriously hot soccer player/ ballet dancer?! I mean, can you get a better combination than that?

  15. Cate Avatar

    Oh Megan, what a fantastic post! Do ya mind if I use that “label maker” line? Perfect!

    If someone starts making these t-shirts….let me know!

  16. Suburban Oblivion Avatar

    I am so stealing that line, although the GapMoms thing will never die. Nevah!!

  17. mommiebear2 Avatar

    I really enjoyed this!! And just think how many more friends a lot of adults would have if we didnt do the label game. :)

  18. moosh in indy. Avatar

    I’d be stoked if someone would just call me awesome mom.

  19. Megan (Velveteen Mind) Avatar

    This was too much fun to just let it be, so I decided to knock out some of those t-shirts in a cafepress shop, just for ya’ll!

    http://www.cafepress.com/velveteenmind

    Let me know if there is something specific you’d like to see. I’m still working on it, but wanted to go ahead and invite you over.

    I’ll be sending Matt Lauer one ASAP. :>

  20. MammaLoves Avatar

    Exactly!

    And Matt’s been pissing me off lately too.

  21. LawyerMama Avatar

    Great post and I love the label maker line!

  22. Whitney from TSW Avatar

    I label myself “Hot Mama, with polite kids” and

  23. Mary Avatar

    Yes, yes and YES! Awesome post! I only label myself in one way, Dork Blogger. ;)

  24. […]     Thinking of my readers today I realized that I will never be able to give anything that sparkles, but I can give you a laugh and a little bling for your sidebar!  Remember awhile back I profiled the Gapmom, talking about the defining characteristics of that amazing woman who manages to drive her SUV to school each morning, her face perfectly made up while balancing her cell phone with her Starbucks cup and not spilling a drop.  Later I talked about my giving up on the goal of becoming the perfect parent, and have since realized that I am what the media refers to as a Beta Mom. I know some of my dear friends are against labeling, but personally I find humor poking fun at the labels. I love all my blogging buddies, whether they are Gapmoms or Beta Moms, and in that spirit, I present these to you. […]

  25. bellevelma Avatar

    Alpha mom and Beta mom? I must have missed that segment. Now I’ve got to go look them up. I am seriously behind the times.

  26. candace Avatar

    Hey, suburban oblivion sent me here after reading my post today. this was great! I’m finding it here in the blog world too. a quick scan of someone’s “about me” and I have to decide if i’m going to “click” further. Partly due to the fact that I have to go clean a highchair and don’t have the time. But it is a weeding out of sorts and I’m finding the more I click on people who don’t resonate as exactly the same as me, the better off I am!

    thanks for writing this!

    Candace

  27. […] at Velveteen Mind once said her label-maker is broken, and mine is now too. I’m not sure how to fix that, or if I even […]

  28. Lotta Avatar

    I love that line. Great post too!

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