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"OK, so let's say Craig dies first…"

[I don’t normally give disclaimers in my posts because y’all are grownups, but please note that child mortality is mentioned below.]

The title of this post is one of the first things I got to hear as we spent the morning dealing with all things depressing like “making a will.” True, we should have done this years ago, but we’re doing it now. So yay us.

But I was reminded of the day about 6 years ago when Craig and I took an infant CPR class. Lots of new parents were there and most had brought their newborns along. Craig and I were killing time waiting to adopt a baby, but this turned out to be the one and only time I was grateful not to have children yet.

The class was chugging along, and most folks seemed to be doing an OK job mentally separating what they were doing from the thought of the horror of having to do it for real some day. But then the instructor helpfully chimed in with: “At this point, your child is technically dead.”

That got everyone’s attention real fast, and I was instantly horrified for the people whose newborns were sleeping in infant car seats scattered about the room. It was one thing for us, not yet parents, to hear such a startling (but true) statement, but I watched in wonder as the other parents were able to soldier on in the class, albeit a little shaken and pale.

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Erika Jurney

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9 responses to “"OK, so let's say Craig dies first…"”

  1. JJK Avatar
    JJK

    Yay you for getting your will done (still on my list of Things I’m A Rotten Parent For Not Doing)!

    How I soldiered on in that very same scenario was the horrible memory of reading just a brief blurb in a magazine about a woman whose four-year-old died, choking on a hot dog. Since this was mentioned as part of a letter to an editor, they never said how this happened, I keep wondering if they just didn’t know how to perform the heimlich and CPR or what. I am so terrified of being in that situation and forgetting all that I know (which is why I bought the “helpful” visual aids… which are where exactly???)

    However, my weird visual from that night was the fact that we were working on headless/limbless torsos in the unfinished (as in… plastic sheeting was up, they were in the middle of putting up drywall) basement of one of the parents’ houses while all the kids played upstairs with a babysitter. My son (2) wandered down and I’ve often wondered if I will be paying for a future therapy session along the lines of “My parents were at this weird party where they had all these cut up dead people and there was plastic sheeting and like they were covering up the walls with something….”

    Reply
  2. Melissa Garrett Avatar
    Melissa Garrett

    My husband and I FINALLY made a will two years ago only after we had THREE children (shame on us). We were taking a short trip, however, and we felt it prudent to have something in place should something happen to us. What a relief to have it done.

    My toddler was eating an orange the other night and began gagging. Last week it was a pretzel. I could swear this girl’s goal is to give me a few grey hairs. It’s a horrible feeling watching your kid’s eyes bug out, look at you with this “Oh my God” look on her face, actually grabbing her throat. The only reason why I didn’t touch her was because I realized she WAS making sound and that she would be able to get it up on her own. But I was SCARED, and so were my other two kids who were watching. Even though I know the heimlich and infant CPR, I have to wonder how I would react if it came to the point of me having to use it.

    Reply
  3. Nancy R Avatar
    Nancy R

    We didn’t make out our will until we had two kids, even though it was on our list since before our first was born. It sucks to think about that stuff, but really it’s over you wonder why the heck you waited so long.

    JJK, I think hot-dogs are a huge-choking threat for small kids because they’re squishy and once they’re lodged in their throat (also a bit squishy) they’re more difficult to force out with the heimlich. That’s why most information you read suggests cutting the dogs into smaller pieces than the ‘coin’ size.

    Reply
  4. Daisy Avatar
    Daisy

    I keep my training up, too, because I hope I’ll never be a situation to use it. Make sense? Well, the more people who know CPR, the more lives can be saved.

    Reply
  5. Redneck Mommy Avatar
    Redneck Mommy

    I had to take those classes before we were allowed to take Bug home. Unfortunately for us, life actually presented us with the opportunity to use said skill on him, which ultimately didn’t help.

    But at the time, the skill and the training was a wee pitch of comfort in the scary moments when I realized my child actually needed CPR. And I was kissing God’s ass for having the ability to be able to try and help my child.

    I couldn’t imagine needing that particular skill and not having it in a crucial moment.

    It would be far scarier.

    Does that make sense?

    Reply
  6. Modern Princess Avatar
    Modern Princess

    Thank you for reminding me that I need to take a cpr class. Right now if something would happen to my kids, all I could do was stand their and pray that the paramedics arrive in time.

    And that makes me sad. Especially knowing that I can change that by doing the right thing and taking a class.

    Reply
  7. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    I can so relate to you and this post. We attempted to write a will after we bought our house, before our first child, but life got in the way. Three months ago I bought a will-kit and it still sits on our mantle waiting for me to open and start…gotta get to that! Yay for you!

    I can also relate to your experience in the CPR class. In order for our first son to come home from the hospital we had to take the infant CPR class – he had been in NICU for one month and had life saving surgery. Anyways, the instructor was going through the material and off the cuffmentioned our son and how just that evening he “forgot” to breath while she was on duty by his bed. My God I panicked and started stressing if I would remember everything…it was awful.

    I am really enjoying your blog – thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  8. cate Avatar
    cate

    we still have to make out our will…we promised ourselves we would do it after our first was born…but it’s just so hard to put yourself in those awful scenarios…

    Reply
  9. justmylife Avatar
    justmylife

    I still don’t have a will, I have a letter stating my wishes and a living will, but no official document. All I know and everybody around me knows, I want MY parents to get the kids if me and hubby are both dead, NOT his parents!!!

    Reply

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