• Go Read It Today, Sunday, April 1, 2007

    Happy April Fool’s Day! Product recalls: More pet food, and even more pet food. “S-I-X-T-Y. Six zero. 60. SIXTY.” Congratulations! This is a great story, but my take-home lesson was Oh My God — there’s a vacuum that costs $2,000! Ack! Awesome fatherly advice!

  • Just in time for Easter and a much better guilty pleasure than those cadbury eggs

    All Chip wants to do is watch this video. And all I want to do is dance around while eating adorable Easter egg babies. Yum.

  • Go Read It Today, Saturday, March 31, 2007

    “No, I do not say “mumsy,” “jolly,” or “righty-oh.” That’s for posh twats from Chelsea, innit?” “Seriously, people… Hating moms who blog is sooo summer ‘06.” “And if it’s true that you can judge a man by the company he keeps, I must be a pretty nice person, after all.” [It is true. And go…

  • So I've finally managed to put up some real pictures of myself.

    Not a bug-eyed cartoon girl. Not a crappy DMV photo. Just real pictures of me — so you’ll know who to look for at BlogHer. I want to meet all of you, so if you see me, come on over! I’ve set it up so that one of these pictures is shown randomly in my…

  • Go Read It Today, Friday, March 30, 2007

    This puts me in the mind of getting a pedicure for myself as well… Oooohhh, stubborn kids… I can relate. “Will it grow back when he’s older?” That’s a good one. I remember the baby-product lust — and it went away after I’d had kids and therefore had no time for shopping. “Your uterus is…

  • Hey baby, do you come here often? Would you like to? wink wink…

    Last Saturday night, Mr. Plain and I went for a drink before a movie and sat at the bar next to a couple on a date. I couldn’t see them, but I could hear every word. She was a collection agent for child support payments and he was very interested. As in… interested in what…

  • OK America, I've had it up to HERE with your voting. You suck.

    Seriously? Chris was worse than Sanjaya? Pony-hawk boy was not the worst? This is insane! I now think that every week he’s just going to come out, hum off-key, and end up in the finale. Lesson learned: never underestimate the power of pre-teen girls.

  • Go Read It Today, Thursday, March 29, 2007

    Product recalls: Bikes at Target for frame failure, stuffed sports balls for lead content. Go put your arm around Maria. I never know the answers to these questions either! Apparently “coochie” was vetoed. Hmmm. I have officially requisitioned my toilet brush! Here’s a wrinkle: what’s my problem if I like these cars? Ugh, I’m hating…

  • Would it be "wrong" to deny my child "water" or any other "liquid" after, say 3pm?

    I only ask because, holy hell, he wants to stop wearing a pullup at night. And I am totally supportive of this decision. Except when it means he gets up at least three times every night needing new PJs. And a clean blanket spread over his bed — for I amway too tired to constantly…

  • I managed to watch American Idol within 24 hours of its actual air date. Wow!

    Lakisha: Excellent! I love that you look and sound like a twenty-something again. Chris S: Surprisingly off the beat and just crap. You’re good, what happened? Gina: Eh, I guess it was good. Kind of boring. Sanjaya: Buh-bye. Seriously dude, I gave you a pass last week, but now you must leave. And your hair…

  • Go Read It Today, Wednesday, March 28, 2007

    Product recalls: Baby Trend baby-carrier backpacks for fall hazard. QVC children’s robe for flammability. Radio-control airplanes for fire hazard. I agree, educational programming can save lives. Might I add: the Upside Down Show that emphasizes not covering the toilet seat in one’s own urine? I’m not a doctor, but I suspect it is better than…

  • Toddler with Sharpie vs. household items. Spoiler: armed toddlers always win.

    On Saturday morning we had some guys over to do some work on our driveway. Mr. Plain and I were talking to them in the front yard while the boys were hanging out watching TV. I peeked in a few times, saw no fighting and no crying and went back outside. Later I was inside…

  • A mind that's weak and a back that's strong. So how was your weekend?

    Start with 3 tons of gravel left over from the new driveway. Put no more than 10 shovel-scoops in a wheelbarrow and set off down the driveway. Give a really good shove to get up on the deck. Steer carefully along the edge of the sandbox. Don’t crash coming down the final ramp, and dump…

  • Go Read It Today, Tuesday, March 27, 2007

    Melanie, what a beautiful wedding you had! I’m envisioning a face-off of Sara and Andria. Head-to-head. Maybe a weekend kid-swap? At the very least, more-hyphens. Sure, we all know not to go grocery shopping hungry, but I have a new rule: Don’t read this post while hungry. You might end up using it as a…

  • I need to put faces to avatars, RSS feeds, and favicons.

    I’m tired of complaining about others who are getting to go. I need to meet all the other people who are freaks like me and write to an audience we can’t see. Whose real-life friends say “What’s a blog?” Who form a community out of letters on a screen. I want to see the faces…

  • Go Read It Today, Monday, March 26, 2007

    What an adventure! There’s a Bisexual Membership Card? I wonder if there’s a secret handshake too. Hannah Bridgeman-Oxley and Karri Cormican: you absolutely rock. And now I’m sad too. Stop by and send some nice words over. All of you need to STOP saying such tempting things about BlogHer! Stop it right now! Sigh…

  • I’m tired of screaming haircuts. Anyone use a flowbee? (For real, sigh.)

    I give up. Mike has an incredibly sensitive scalp. As in yelping whenever I gently wash his hair. And forget about giving him a hair cut. You’d think I was removing his scalp. So now I’m looking for other options. I give him a simple, short typical boy-cut and I’m wondering if a Flowbee would…

  • Go Read It Today, Sunday, March 25, 2007

    Ack, 12 days! I’m not sure I would have had the patience to shampoorinserepeat 50 times! Ooohh, a contest. And you can win shiny, pretty things. My favorite kind! Yep, mommyhood is hard. And there is no (good) manual. And you have to make it all up as you go along. Why did no one…

  • Amazingly adorable puppy alert. Bow down low to our new furry overlord.

    On Thursday our new puppy was born. Somewhere in this pile of dog sleeps our new puppy “Lucy.” May 14th we can take her home, and I’m so excited! I didn’t really want to get another dog at first, but now I’m completely on-board. That said, here is the wonderful dog she is following: She…

  • Go Read It Today, Saturday, March 24, 2007

    I have recently become obsessed with Maya’s Mom (the web site not the person, you freak) — please friend me so I don’t look like the dork at the bottom of the reject pile!! Shhhhh… everyone… be very quiet… Don’t.spook.the.very.pregnant.lady……… BOO! :) Yes! Why can’t we tolerate other moms who just happen to do things…

  • Go Read It Today, Friday, March 23, 2007

    Baby product recall: 100,000 Infantino SlingRider sling carriers for a faulty part that could cause the baby to fall out. One child has suffered a skull fracture! I agree, South Beach is a bitch. Great boob news! ANOTHER person going to BlogHer. Sigh… I WANT THESE PLATES. My boys would go completely nuts for them.…