Remember the other day I posted about the super-exiting hours I spent getting my eyes dilated, getting new lenses for my glasses, and learning the male-only meaning of the word “massive“? Well, my mom saw it and said to me later “Hey, I’ve been looking for an awesome present for your second 39th birthday this September… How about you let someone slice up your eyeballs with a laser? My treat!” (I may have paraphrased.)
So I said “Yahoo!!” and not in the search-enginy way. I thought about doing this years ago before we had kids (and coincidentally could have afforded to pay for it) but it creeped me the fuck out to think about letting someone dig into my eyes with a LASER BEAM.
In the intervening years I have seen far grosser things than laser eye surgery and I’m at the point where I’m about to order a Holly Hobby home laser off Teh Internet and do it myself. Cue my mom! (Any tax attorneys out there? Do I now need to declare the surgery as blog income??)
Amazingly I live near a university that is home to someone who is considered to be The Guy for laser eyeball surgery, AND he books appointments only a week in advance.
So now you’re up to date. I spent Thursday morning looking into about a million eye measuring devices. And at one point I got bored waiting around and sent this to Mr. Plain.
The eye machines were significantly better, however, than the device used on me on Tuesday. But then they dilated my eyes. Again. I hate that SO MUCH. You walk out into the parking lot like a drunk seeing the sun for the first time in weeks. Awful!
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
There are 2 kinds of surgeries they do at this fancy center. The one where they cut a flap in your eye (sorry) and laser blast under it. This is a relatively new procedure, not much pain, they can do both eyes on the same day, and your vision is almost instantly better. You are back into your life the next day and it is wonderful.
Then there’s an older procedure (PRK) where they skip the flap part and just laser right onto your eyeball. This procedure takes 4-6 weeks for your vision to get to its finished state, you have pain (sorry, “discomfort”) for a couple of days, and you can only do one eye at a time.
Guess which one I’m a getting?
Ding ding ding, you’re a winner if you guessed PRK. I know you’re not surprised, but apparently I have freakily weirdly-shaped eyeballs. (Shut the hell up.)
But seriously, I was only disappointed for about 20 seconds because here’s the upshot: I have a high pain tolerance, and I do get to have laser eye surgery. I don’t see a downside.
Well just one, I LOVE MY GLASSES!