So about those glasses… maybe I should have a contest?

Remember the other day I posted about the super-exiting hours I spent getting my eyes dilated, getting new lenses for my glasses, and learning the male-only meaning of the word “massive“? Well, my mom saw it and said to me later “Hey, I’ve been looking for an awesome present for your second 39th birthday this September… How about you let someone slice up your eyeballs with a laser? My treat!” (I may have paraphrased.)

So I said “Yahoo!!” and not in the search-enginy way. I thought about doing this years ago before we had kids (and coincidentally could have afforded to pay for it) but it creeped me the fuck out to think about letting someone dig into my eyes with a LASER BEAM.

In the intervening years I have seen far grosser things than laser eye surgery and I’m at the point where I’m about to order a Holly Hobby home laser off Teh Internet and do it myself. Cue my mom! (Any tax attorneys out there? Do I now need to declare the surgery as blog income??)

eyedoc.gifAmazingly I live near a university that is home to someone who is considered to be The Guy for laser eyeball surgery, AND he books appointments only a week in advance.

So now you’re up to date. I spent Thursday morning looking into about a million eye measuring devices. And at one point I got bored waiting around and sent this to Mr. Plain.

goon.jpg

The eye machines were significantly better, however, than the device used on me on Tuesday. But then they dilated my eyes. Again. I hate that SO MUCH. You walk out into the parking lot like a drunk seeing the sun for the first time in weeks. Awful!

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

There are 2 kinds of surgeries they do at this fancy center. The one where they cut a flap in your eye (sorry) and laser blast under it. This is a relatively new procedure, not much pain, they can do both eyes on the same day, and your vision is almost instantly better. You are back into your life the next day and it is wonderful.

Then there’s an older procedure (PRK) where they skip the flap part and just laser right onto your eyeball. This procedure takes 4-6 weeks for your vision to get to its finished state, you have pain (sorry, “discomfort”) for a couple of days, and you can only do one eye at a time.

Guess which one I’m a getting?

Ding ding ding, you’re a winner if you guessed PRK. I know you’re not surprised, but apparently I have freakily weirdly-shaped eyeballs. (Shut the hell up.)

But seriously, I was only disappointed for about 20 seconds because here’s the upshot: I have a high pain tolerance, and I do get to have laser eye surgery. I don’t see a downside.

Well just one, I LOVE MY GLASSES!


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11 responses to “So about those glasses… maybe I should have a contest?”

  1. AbsolutelyBananas Avatar

    oh wow..good luck. I’m WAY too much of a wimp to have that done. I’ll be curious to hear your thoughts on the experience!!

  2. Beth Avatar

    My husband is thinking of doing it too. He’s been doing some research and is concerned about getting chronic dry eye. Apparently it happens a lot. Did your doctor tell you anything about it? How big of a problem is it and how often does it happen?

    I still think my husband should consider it but he’s afraid.

    Thanks.

  3. Posybunny Avatar

    Oh, good…you can send me your glasses! :)

    You are very brave…

  4. Robin Avatar

    Lucky! You’re going to love it.

    Can you have your glasses made into sunglasses?

  5. Tabba Avatar

    Maybe you could put them in a shadow box. Along with the picture from My Heritage. Just for old time’s sake.

  6. Annie Avatar

    Another wimp here, and one with just the one oddly shaped eyeball, what does that make me? I’m picking up my new pair of glasses today.

  7. ktjrdn Avatar

    I was thinking about signing up for that. I was so excited, but they told me they couldn’t even measure me until I had been done nursing for 6 months. What? I guess the hormones may affect your eye shape. Plus, I’d have to have my contacts out for a montha head of time. So I guess I’ve got to wait at least 6 months before I can even get evaluated. I’m bummed.

    (btw: Hi! Erin (the-looney-bin) sent me here)

  8. Colleen Avatar

    My mom just had the “cut a flap in your eyes both in one day” procedure last year. She was absolutely amazed at the quick difference. She says she can’t remember a time when things were so crisp and clear… even with glasses. She does still have “reading” glasses (those cheapies you buy at the drug store) for doing embroidery and reading. But otherwise… she’s loving her new eyes! Good luck with your procedure!

  9. rachel Avatar

    wow – good luck!

    My cousin-in-law had it done and LOVED it. But then, she had 4 easy pregnancies, too. :P

    Unfortunately, I need glasses for protecting my one good eye, not just for correcting the vision in said “good” eye. (my other eye has no central retina) The idea of someone lasering my eyes freaks me the crap out. But maybe only having one working eye will do that to a person!

  10. Melanie Avatar

    I’m scared to death of laser surgery, so even if I’m eligible, I’ll stick with my glasses.

    Yep, Big Ole Baby, that’s me.

  11. fidget Avatar

    woot! i cant wait till I can have my eyeballs sliced up… of course I’ll let DH go first

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