So why did J&J send me to New Jersey anyway?

As promised, I’m updating you lovelies on my hilarity-filled trip back East courtesy of Johnson & Johnson. Approximately 56 bloggers converged on poor, unsuspecting New Brunswick, New Jersey for “Camp Baby.” (I can’t really comment on any of the pre-hoopla controversies since my arrangements went very smoothly, but head over to CityMama, Queen of Spain and Mothergoosemouse for those details.)

Wednesday

That morning at the Crack of Ass I was picked up by a car service. After checking in I found some coffee and made my way to the gate. I knew from chatting with her on Twitter that @Glennia, I mean Glennia was going to be on the same flight, but I was pretty early and no one was there yet. Soon thereafter, however, I noticed two loud and obnoxiously awake women, soon joined by a third. I walked over and said “Loud, rowdy women? You must be bloggers!”

This is how I met Jenijen, Jenny, and Kari. We were soon joined by Glennia and most of the remaining passengers at the gate put on their noise-cancelling headphones.

Yawn, plane trip, I did the hair of the passenger in front of me when she reclined her seat, I ate scary “food,” and landed in NJ. Fun-filled trip to the hotel in an SUV driven by a terrified young man who apparently thought that driving around “a bunch of moms” was going to be much quieter. And involve less swearing.

We arrived at the hotel, were speedily checked in, and told to meet later for a food and wine pairing event with Ted Allen. Once I stopped thinking it was Tim-the-toolman-Taylor Allen and realized it was the guy from Queer Eye and a bunch of other shows I’m too uncool to watch, I was excited. I went to my room, shaved my legs, and got ready to rumble.

Ted Allen was funny, asked for blogging advice (You’ve never heard such a gasp as when he said “Twitter? What’s that?”), and served us some pretty good wine. (Except for that Chardonnay, #2, which tasted like chewing on an old oak barrel. Gak.)

But clearly getting us all liquored up was so that we wouldn’t notice one critical fact about the agenda for the next day: it began at 7:30am and ended at midnight!

Thursday

The bulk of the day was divided up into sessions, and the first one was fantastic.

Jodi Mindell (author) spoke on Sleep. This session was great because she was clearly an expert on the topic, she was a compelling speaker, and she wasn’t interested in telling anyone “the one right way” to do anything. She’s written books, so if this topic interests you, go check them out. She’s also made an online sleep diagnosis tool at www.johnsonsbaby.com/sleep. I haven’t checked it out yet — it has a lot of Flash which I don’t like — but it is probably worth a look.

Anna Prilutsky, J&J Director of R&D. I wasn’t really sure what she was trying to tell us here. She said a lot of things like “babies have soft, sensitive skin” and told us that J&J works hard to ensure their products aren’t harmful. Pretty basic overview, and not terribly interesting. Explains why I signed into Twitter during this session.

Dr. Germ terrified us all with the disgusting description of germs in our everyday lives. You could see the Purell pitch coming a mile off, but he was engaging so it wasn’t so bad. (Also, did I expect not to have them try to sell me on their products?) Downside: how will I ever touch an elevator button again?

Nutrition I wasn’t clever enough to write down this speaker’s name, but here’s the summary: “Nutritition is important. Eat breakfast.” And so on. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she showed the food pyramid.

Susan Nettesheim, J&J Director of Product Stewardship. Listed J&J’s “green initiatives” like electric cars, reducing packaging, using solar power and environmentally sound ingredients. Talked about Hazard vs. Risk: with the implication that small amounts of hazardous chemicals are everywhere (examples: arsenic in apple seeds, aflatoxins in peanut butter). This setup lead perfectly into what she must have known was going to be one of the very first questions: What about parabens in J&J products?

Her answer: J&J doesn’t use the bad parabens, only the “good” ones. She suggested cosmeticsinfo.org to look up the safety of chemicals/ingredients. She was also asked about animal testing and carcinogens, and to her credit appeared to be answering truthfully. If I sound cynical, it is only because I can’t imagine any other answers she might give. And because I’m cynical. I think this topic could have been the subject for the entire day, but it was adequately handled in the time allotted (1 hour).

UPDATE: Read Jaelithe‘s, IzzyMom‘s and Adrienne‘s absolutely stellar summaries of this session. J&J Take note: this is important to us.

Scott Jens, Chair of the AOA InfantSEE Committee. He talked about eye health and vision for kids. Stressed the importance of getting your kids to an optometrist/ophthalmologist. He understands that most kids don’t have vision insurance, and he wants that to change. InfantSEE has started a free screening program for kids. Go to InfantSEE to find a participating clinic. This is an AMAZING resource, and I’ll be blogging about this in its own post soon.

Break-out sessions

This is where the wheels came off. They divided us into 3 groups for smaller sessions, which is fine, but the sessions were… odd. The first one I was in was Market Research. And it would actually have been fine except it turned “argue-y” real fast. Christina can explain it better than I, but the fact that I was alone in the front row sitting next to the person in question just made it even stranger. Reader’s Digest version: in the middle of a room full of moms, the author of “The Mommy Wars” vehemently proclaimed that she really doesn’t trust other moms opinions at all. WTF?

Moving on.

Then I went to what was both the best session (if you were on Twitter) and the worst session (if you own a vagina) in the history of time. In the agenda it was called “Girl Talk: What’s going on ‘down there’?” I prayed to Jeebus that it was a session about Australia. Or the sump-pump in my basement. Or Nicole Kidman. Or really anything but ‘down there.’ Because I’m not 12 and those parts have actual names.

However, as I wandered out of the session, stunned into silence (I know!), I missed the glory days of phrases like “hoo-ha” “va-jay-jay” and yes, even “cooter” because any talk which begins “Imagine this room is your vagina. Now imagine the ceiling caving in.” is just a little too much to take.

Not Your Mother’s Vagina

Ever have an embarrassing talk with your doctor? They usually turn out just fine, you get the information you need, and you know it was all confidential and just between the two of you. Now imagine that talk with 20 other women, many of whom you have never met before. Most of whom are sitting with their mouths agape. I truly appreciated that J&J wanted to make sure we were aware of these Uro-Gynecological disasters in the making, but it was out of place in this setting.

The final breakout session was a mindless and brain dead one which I wouldn’t have enjoyed had it been the first one, but by the time I finished with the horror of the uterine prolapse brigade I was praying for death. Or a good hair-braiding class. Fortunately for me, I was not lead into an abattoir but into a room full of chopped-off half-scale plastic heads with disturbingly life-like hair. It was all I could do not to collapse into a puddle of giggles on the floor, and I finally succumbed when Catherine began making out with the toughest looking hair-head-model I’d ever seen. That plastic bitch will cut you.

After the sessions and a long break it was time to go out to dinner at a fantastic restaurant. Some folks took advantage of the Wii games area, but I didn’t want to get my ass kicked by Sarah, so I had some wine and chatted instead. After a long and delicious meal, we went back to the hotel where there was a room set up with couches, a fireplace on TV, and candy. The next morning before leaving we were given the opportunity to choose from lots of J&J products (soap, lube, splenda…) which they mailed to us so we didn’t get stopped at an airport security checkpoint for trying to cross state lines with 12 gallons of Gal Grease.

Conclusions

So sweet deal, right? You know I know how lucky I was to get to go on this trip, right? You know I know that J&J didn’t send me just because I’m a mommy who needs a break, right?

The real question I’m left with is: why did they send us on this trip? Well, we know that Moms are purchasing decision makers, so it makes sense for us to be wooed (is that a word?) by a company which makes family products. So did it work? I can’t say I have a better or worse opinion of J&J products than I did before. I definitely am a little in love with the amazing women who planned this huge event, because not only did they rock their clipboards, drink wine with us, and get us unfailingly where we needed to be, but they were some of the nicest people I have ever met. (And y’all need raises ;)

But when I’m at Target and I see a J&J product next to the same thing made by another company, which will I choose? I can honestly say I don’t know, but they for sure captured my attention. Now I can’t help but notice when I see the J&J name on a product. Was that worth the thousands of dollars they spent on me?

Probably.

Holy Crap, she has footnotes!

(1) “Gal Grease” is the name of the fictional womanly slickening product my step-mom and I came up with years ago after one too many douche commercials came on TV. Thank god for TiVo. (And wickedly-funny step-parents. Hey Nora ;)

(2) Johnson & Johnson paid for everything. I had a $16 bar tab when I checked out of the hotel plus I left about $20 in tips along the way. That’s it. J&J covered airfare, hotel, ground transportation, food, drinks, and entertainment. As for free shit, I got a bag full of Neutrogena products, a Nintendo DS system and Brain Age 2, and the opportunity to choose from lots of J&J products to take home. Yes, it was sweet, and I am very fortunate, and I hope you get to go next time.

(3) I am able to blog about this here because I’ve dropped out of the BlogHerAds network. I heart the lovely and talented ladies of BlogHer, and I don’t begrudge them their rules even one tiny little bit. It just stopped working for me when I couldn’t blog about this trip ($40 is their limit for getting freebies), and that’s the only reason I dropped their ads. I love what they’ve done and continue to do for our community, and it was a hard decision for me to make for just that reason.

I know there have been tons of questions about this event. Ask away in the comments and I’ll try to answer them all. And get ready to ask me more soon, because next week I’m off on a junket for Sony.

Comments

35 responses to “So why did J&J send me to New Jersey anyway?”

  1. Glennia Avatar

    I was going to blog about this, but now I don't need to, because I could just say, "What she said."

    I felt pretty much the same way you did. Some sessions were great, some not. The bloggers? Rocked. Not at all clique-y, girly BS I was expecting. Though you would totally be in my clique if I had one.

    Glennia's latest post: Obama in San Francisco

  2. Dawn @ Coming to a N Avatar

    All in all, it sounds like an awesome trip. particularly for the money paid! :) Thanks for the post! If I get invited next year, maybe your posting will be the decision maker for me.

    Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You's latest post: Come on over and see me some time.

  3. the slackmistress Avatar

    So is it weird to be A BRAND now? Are you going to run around like Eric Cartman and yelling to "respekt mah authoritah?" ;)

    I think I just joined Twitter as the pre-drama hoopla started. Not being a mom, I wasn't sure what this was all about – do you think that they'll implement any of your suggestions, or do you think they just wanted brand recognition raised in the blogsophere?

    the slackmistress's latest post: Panic in the Streets of L.A…

  4. Aimee Greeblemonkey Avatar

    Interesting (and fun!) update. It's been wild to watch this go down, and for someone who was in old school corporate marketing 15 years ago, it's crazy how things have changed. And how things have stayed the same.

    And thanks for the Art Auction badge!!!!

    Aimee Greeblemonkey's latest post: E is for Excellent

  5. Christina Avatar

    Wow, you either took good notes or have a good memory. Now I'm going to have to think up stuff you didn't mention to make it even worth writing up my report.

    Oh wait – I can write about how it took 20 minutes and a GPS device to drive two blocks for dinner.

    Christina's latest post: What Happened To Worrying About Monsters?

  6. Beth Avatar

    It sounds like it was fun.

    My only question is whether it's true that J&J put numbing stuff in their baby shampoo and that's why it doesn't sting.

    Did they say anything about that?

    I really would like to know if it's true.

    Can you ask them for me?

    Beth's latest post: Hangin' Out at the Dirty Doughnut Shop

  7. Laura Avatar

    WOW – sounds like an interesting weekend. Thanks for sharing. How did you get connected with J&J? What type of blogging questions did they ask?

    Thanks for sharing!

    Laura's latest post: We Interrupt Your Regular Blog Reading

  8. mothergoosemouse Avatar

    That was the greatest recap I could have possibly hoped for.

    A little jealous about missing out on the lube. I mean, Gal Grease.

    mothergoosemouse’s latest post: We?re both working on it

  9. Andrea Avatar

    Viral marketing, baby. See? Now's they've got their target market blogging & talking about the entire thing *and* their products, and I bet it cost them less than a new ad campaign. Far less.

    *snort* gal grease. :D

    "Why is there toothpaste in the bedroom, Mommy?"

    Andrea's latest post: Tea and crumpets

  10. jaelithe Avatar

    Wow! Excellent recap, lady.

    I would totally wish I had been in your session group to witness the Mommy Wars drama in all its glory, and of course to see Catherine tongue-kiss that weird plastic head.

    Except that in my session group I had Kristen from Mominatrix in the Vagina Dialogues, and you really can't ask for much more than that.

    jaelithe's latest post: The Business of Blogging at Camp Baby

  11. Scott Jens Avatar
    Scott Jens

    Thanks for the InfantSEE(R) mention. I am the speaker that participated in Camp Baby, and I continue to be amazed by the increased number of visits to the http://www.infantsee.org website. For anyone who hasn't looked, feel free to visit, and tell your friends and family!

    Scott Jens, OD

    Middleton, WI

  12. Lotta Avatar

    They sent you because they know that viral word of mouth, a la blogs, is like pirate's gold. Much cheaper to fly out a bunch of mommy bloggers than to to launch a multi million dollar ad campaign. Plus, now they can tell the share holders how savvy they are with their blog/internet marketing skilz.

    But I think that "What's going on down there mirror" made the trip worth it and then some. Whip that out and check your lip gloss at the next playdate!

    – Former, slightly bitter, marketing exec.

    Lotta

    Lotta's latest post: Kinky Date

  13. Diana Avatar

    Lube and a what's going on down there mirror? Man, I really missed out!

    But I am so glad to know I am not the only one totally uncool enough to not watch Queer Eye and other such TV fare.

    ;)

    Diana's latest post: The One Where I Climbed Out From Under The Rock

  14. Jenn Avatar

    I was invited and could not go. (Man! Good swag, too!) But my main question would have to be:

    Did you miss me?

    Jenn's latest post: Things I learned on Twitter about topics one should blog about

  15. Bon Avatar

    but…but…i wanted to know about prolapse!

    um, or not. fascinating. thanks for actually explaining what it was all about, Erika.

    Bon's latest post: Oscar on the cusp of two

  16. Erika Jurney Avatar

    Oh man Bon, have I got the prolapse information for you! If you ever have questions, just ask. Of course, just know that you'll be adding to my psychic scars when you do so!

    (And folks, I'm trying a new plugin where I can respond to comments like I usually do AND have it show up as a comment on the site. Let's see if it works…)

  17. Kim Avatar

    It was great meeting you at Camp Baby. And now you're off to Camp Sony? I'm so impressed.

    All those bloggers who didn't make it to Camp Baby can still pick up a little gal grease swag of their own here http://www.kyintrigue.com/kyintrigue/intrigue_sam

    OMG, I am like putty in the hands of J&J's marketing execs.

    Kim's latest post: Dude, where's my e-mail?

  18. Karen Putz / DeafMom Avatar

    That was a heck of a trip for sixteen bucks– what fun!

  19. Erika Jurney Avatar

    Karen, you forgot the $20 in tips — more than doubled my costs! ;)

  20. Erika Jurney Avatar

    Kim, you're such a whore ;) Which I of course mean in the nicest possible way…

  21. Liz Avatar

    Just catching up on everyone's views of Camp Baby – gosh, but mom bloggers are an opinionated lot – nice round up and it was really great to meet, eat and Twitter along side you, too ;o)

    Liz's latest post: Beware: Mommy on Duty – Hold my calls and mind the middle child.

  22. Erika Jurney Avatar

    Boy oh boy do I agree on the 'opinionated' part — and that's kind of why I'm surprised they invited us all there. A bunch of smartasses… On the one hand it was a gamble. On the other hand the buzz is probably just what they were after.

  23. Kim Avatar

    Well, Erika, coming from you that means a lot :-)

    At least I'm a well-lubricated whore. I got my box-o-swag today. I was kind sloppy, unpacking it in dribs and drabs. My ten year-old asked me just before bedtime, "What's prolapse?" Dear God I left out my 50 page notebook from the Girl Talk.

    What do you think we were supposed to do with all those blank pages?

    Kim's latest post: Dude, where's my e-mail?

  24. Erika Jurney Avatar

    Oh man Kim, you're more organized than I was. I didn't keep that notebook. It frightened me.

    And do you really want to use the words "sloppy" and "lube" in the same sentence? Just what kind of blog do you think this is??

  25. Kim Avatar

    Well now it's frightenign my son. I should have handed it the the GM guy who drove me to the airport.

    Did not even realize that I used lube and sloppy, not to mention dribs and drabs all in one comment. I will be more careful next time.

    Kim's latest post: Dude, where's my e-mail?

  26. Jay Avatar

    Bring me, bring me!

    I absolutely adore the fact that you shaved your legs for Ted Allen.

    Jay's latest post: Anti-Karaoke

  27. Erika Jurney Avatar

    Jay, well let me rephrase… I shaved my legs coincidentally before I went to the Ted Allen thing. You could say I shaved my legs for a bunch of other moms, though!

  28. Neena (NeenMachine) Avatar

    Erika,

    Loved your summary. I got an invite for this one but by the time I could rearrange my schedule it was filled up. Your post was the next best thing – and to think we could have met!

    Neena (NeenMachine)'s latest post: Science Fiction for Kids

  29. Jenny from Mommin&#0 Avatar

    It was great to meet you at the Sony event! I couldn't make it to Camp Baby and I am interested to see how you thought Sony compared!

    Jenny from Mommin' It Up!'s latest post: Sophie’s Revenge

  30. Wendy Avatar

    Holy crap! I had no idea that this kind of event even existed. Where have I been, right? No, I just started blogging and I had no idea that the world was this big. Or small. New Jersey is really close to me. Just a few blocks and a large river west of where I park my car.

    Oh and my mother-in-law warned me about uterine prolapse literally the day after I gave birth to her grandchild. Yeah that was nice. So I guess I didn't miss much in that session.

    Well done y'all. Way to stick it to the man and yet eat his cookies at the same time. I love it. You all rock. Also enjoyed the links to the other gals who were there.

  31. Janice (5 Minutes fo Avatar

    So interesting to hear all about this event. I was invited but didn't go because due to nursing Olivia.

    Sounds like I am super glad I got to go to Sony!!

  32. Michelle Avatar
    Michelle

    Some interesting event indeed! Thanks for the update, although I do have to say the part about bodily fluids made me cringe…ewww gross right?! I have enough of a had a hard enough time trying to get everything out to my doctor the with the first pregnancy, not sure if I could do it with so many strangers around me! :) Again, thanks for the update!

    Personal help TTC help from a mother who's been there :)

  33. […] I was at Camp Baby, one of the Neutrogena products they gave us was Neutrogena Age Shield Face Sunblock. I’ve […]

  34. […] Plain Jane Mom: So why did J&J send me to New Jersey anyway? […]

  35. Hsashton Avatar
    Hsashton

    Have you ever gotten J&J’s baby shampoo in your eyes?
    It stings like a mother fucker.
    They don’t put any “numbing agent” in it – but they probably should.

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