(Yeah, I know it is only the beginning of November, but I’m gonna go there.)

Everything you’ve heard is true, my kids don’t really have Christmas stockings. Last year, sigh, Santa had to leave their stocking loot on the couch next to the unassembled carcasses of their stockings. Yes, I am a Crap Mom.

This year, however, I WILL FINISH ALL THE STOCKINGS BEFORE XMAS. The end. I don’t care what else happens. And of course, they aren’t just regular size stockings — I had to go and choose the 28″ ones. So if you see my blog go dark mid-December you will know what is going on. Just imagine me sequining my butt off. And cursing.

I have to go from this:

To this:

And what does it say about my work ethic that I stole those pictures from eBay!?

Let the Holiday Season of Guilt and Sleepless Nights Commence!