As we were waiting for Chip’s cataract surgery to get started he went ballistic when I put the hospital gown on him. To be fair, I wouldn’t have been happy either — it was really new and scratchy. But even so, we decided that if new clothes pissed him off, he’d really freak out about the mask they were going to use to put him under. So we let them give him some Versed — repeatedly described to us as “like baby Valium.”

And no, none was on tap for the parents.

We did the fast-squirt-it-in-the-cheek dispensing method because apparently it is very bitter. (They know it is bitter. They tell you “he won’t like this, it is bitter.” WHY THE HELL CAN’T THEY MAKE IT TASTE BETTER? Get those crack teams that make dogfood taste “meatier” (ew) on the problem.) But I digress.

As she was leaving the nurse said it would take 15-20 minutes to take effect, but by that time Chip was already snuggled up close to me and looking like he’d had a few too many.

Skip ahead to 20 minutes later… If he could have, he would have been shouting “I love you man! I really do! No, it’s not the meds, I really, really love you!”

He was giggling and stumbling around. He would grab a kleenex, wave it in the air and shout “WIPE!” and crack himself up. The doctor came in, saw Chip rolling around on the floor and asked “How are you feeling?” Chip threw back his curly head, yelled “GOOOOD!” and giggled. It was hilarious.