Where do you draw the blogging line?

So where do you draw the line between sharing something personal about your kid which might help other kids, and protecting their privacy? Personally, I err on the side of privacy. I know you would never have guessed since, you know, I’m writing this on my personal “mommy” blog, but that’s the way it is.

Everything is fine here, by the way — this post isn’t about some big new development. I’ve been wondering what other people do about this issue for a while.

So tell me, do you let it all hang out online, or are there limits?

Christmas 2003 in a Portland, OR hotel.

Christmas morning 2003 in a Portland, Oregon hotel.


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26 responses to “Where do you draw the blogging line?”

  1. Maria Avatar

    I don’t know if I have any lines. I really don’t blog about them *too much* but I know that since I hope they read my blog one day (they’ll already know I’m a nutcase by then, no worries), I need to focus on making sure the things they read are…ok by them.

    Maria´s latest post: In Case You Need Help…

  2. patois Avatar

    Boy, if anyone could be helped by what is going on with my children, they’re in big, big trouble! Seriously, I do find that the older the kids get — and the greater the number of people I know in person who read the blog — the less I share of anything that might embarrass them.

    patois´s latest post: Sunday Scribblings: Tradition

  3. Kathy Avatar

    I don’t have kids, but when it comes to my family in general, I err on the side of privacy, too. I read somewhere that although it is your life you’re writing about, you share it with others. It’s a tough call, really. With older children, as with adults, you can run something by them before you post it.

    Kathy´s latest post: Prop 8: The Musical

  4. Summer Avatar

    I don’t really have that many lines, but then my life isn’t that exciting so thee isn’t much to not talk about. I guess I keep it at if I wouldn’t say it out loud in public then I won’t say it on my blog.

    Summer´s latest post: Is Being Socially Isolated Really That Bad?

  5. Stimey Avatar

    I am a chronic oversharer. But I do have lines. I try to stay away from things that I think will endanger them or that will make them really, really mad at me when they’re older.

    Stimey´s latest post: Maybe I Should Have Gone to the Doctor Earlier

  6. Kalyn Avatar

    Love the photo. I have no kids, so maybe I don’t get a vote in this, but personally I think your approach of protecting the kids privacy is the best one.

    Kalyn´s latest post: Recipe for Barley Risotto with Mushrooms and Thyme

  7. andria Avatar

    I also love the photo.

    I don’t get a whole lot of readers so I’ve shared a good bit about my kid’s ADD and his struggles with school. I do wish sometimes I’d never used his real name, but when I started my blog three years ago it was a way to show the husband what the kids were doing while he was working 2,000 miles away and I never imagined I’d have people googling ADD, speech issues, etc.

    One day I hope my kids will read the blog and know the underlying tone was that I loved them fiercely and was their biggest advocate. I think he might find it interesting to one day read my point of view with his struggles.

    My kid is seven. Things might change as he gets older. We’ll see.

    andria´s latest post: I Am So Thankful….

  8. DD Avatar

    I’ve decided to keep things private for now. For our situation, there is such a division on what we should be doing and I while I appreciated the advice that came with our infertility treatments, it’s different now that it affects someone other than myself. We want to make a decision based on our own observation, not others, but someday I hope I’m able to share what has worked and what hasn’t.

    DD´s latest post: HIATUS

  9. Chimica Avatar

    I’ve been told by many people that I put too much info on my blog.. but honestly I don’t care.. Let people complain.. when my son is born I think I will place as much info as I can while still being mom like..

    Chimica´s latest post: I have no friends

  10. Wendy Avatar

    i’ve gotten more private once the Kid learned the word “embarassing.” oh, i long for an anonymous blog…mostly to write about marriage, but the kid too.

    Wendy´s latest post: Learn-A-Word Wednesday: interregnum /in-ter-reg-nuhm/

  11. jen Avatar

    I write a bit about my son and I post pictures of him. There are definitely things I don’t share.

    jen´s latest post: First baby tooth gone

  12. Eden Avatar

    My general policy is this: if it’s something that will embarrass them when someone Googles them in 10 years, I either don’t write it or I make it a pw-protected post.

    If you want a greater audience than a pw-protected post would allow, maybe a friend would offer to let you guest blog anonymously or you could write something for a site or magazine that allows articles and use a pen name.

    Eden´s latest post: Another movie quote meme

  13. Christina Avatar

    Generally most topics are open for me to blog about. But I try not to blog too many intimate details about my relationship with my husband (twitter is exempted from that lately), and I choose to bypass much of our potty training struggles with the kids.

    One topic that I censor a little is my daughter’s autism. I want others to benefit from our experience, but some of the more disturbing things she does aren’t bloggable because I don’t want to embarrass her in the future.

    Christina´s latest post: Haiku Friday: Finals Week

  14. JavaMom Avatar

    I’ve had a private blog for years and have only recently put up my public blog and this is something I’ve wrestled with in my mind. For now kids aren’t mentioned by real name and photos don’t show faces, but it’s not like you will have to be an FBI agent to figure out who my family is — ultimately we could be unveiled — or I may choose to do so myself — so I keep that in mind at all times.

    Like one of our other commenters, I think I would apply the “if this will embarass him/her to find on Google in ten years…” rule. I mean beyond normal teenage embarassment, like “OMG Mom, you dressed me in THAT Halloween costume…” I plan on blogging about daughter’s failure to thrive at some point b/c that will help someone (as someone else’s story helped US), but there is nothing about her story that should embarass her — she is now 2 and healthy as can be and eating fine, problems don’t persist and I don’t think she’ll be embarassed by stories of the harrowing endoscopy, etc. Given that she eats like a truck driver, I feel secure that we escaped issues of infantile anorexia (can you believe that exists?!!), etc. — but if I were worried about that, I would probably refrain from thinking about her failure to thrive as a future post. But when I have the time and the energy to relive it, there’s a lot about our experience from that horrible first year that I think will help someone and that’s my way of paying it forward.

    I think there ARE some boundaries — but the boundaries may be different for each family. I’m VERY curious how this generation we are growing will see the issue of privacy — they may have a totally different view of it than we do — they may be so used to be constantly exposed since birth (pre-birth for goodness sakes — they are, after all, the ultrasound generation!) that they may not feel violated at all. What will be even MORE fascinating will be what happens with THEIR children — will the pendulum swing so far back that THEIR children will resent even having a baby book written about them?

    Gosh, didn’t mean to get so wordy!

    So glad to see you posting!

    JavaMom´s latest post: For the Listmaking Geek in All of Us

  15. Jamie Avatar

    I blog alot about my girls but there are certain topics I’ll never touch on (like marital issues that are things everyone deals with but I’d rather not talk about since my husband’s employees know about my blog or money woes or anything super embarrassing to my family like where we stash the sex toys…just kidding mom!) I’m also finding that I am writing less about my older daughter who is 6 1/2. Of course earlier this week I posted a picture of my 3-year-old eating PB&J naked so who am I to say I am really watching out for potential embarrassment! Cough. But now into three years of blogging I’m slowly trying to make it less specific about my daughters and more universal parenting issues that I write about. I also NEVER blog about work or mention where my daughters go to school/daycare and that sort of thing.

    p.s. I love that picture. :)

    Jamie´s latest post: When Mommy’s Away, It’s Naked PB&J

  16. Rachael Avatar

    I don’t think that I have a pre-set line. I think that I make a decision for every situation. If there was something wrong with my child, or we were having specific troubles with a stage of development I see two advantages to sharing. One is that I can get advice from other people who have had the same kind of issue. The other is that as mothers, especially those of us who stay at home, sometimes we can feel really alone. By sharing, I would hope to help other moms who might be having the same kind of problems so they would feel less alone, and by whatever response I got back I could feel less alone.

    Rachael´s latest post: Proposition 8: The Musical

  17. Shelli Avatar

    Infertility on my blog… I’m all out, as you know. No secrets there.

    My son… only cute stuff. I don’t blog about serious issues with him. I also don’t blog about work. I think there’s a fine line with regards to privacy, and I am always straddling it.

    Shelli´s latest post: Mystery Date

  18. Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas Avatar

    My oldest daughter is 19 and so I keep it very light and non-specific, and actually don’t blog about her very often. (Though she’s in my current post because I could NOT pass up the opportunity!) She can start her own blog if she wants all her stuff out on the Internet.

    My boys are 6 and 2 and there are things are off limits, particularly with the older boy. I want him to enjoy reading about himself one day and not be embarrassed by anything. I could handle “MOM! Why’d you post THAT?” because it is my blog and he is my kid. But I never want any of them to be truly mortified.

    Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas´s latest post: Carcolepsy

  19. Heather (How to be a Woman..?) Avatar

    Aww, what a sweet photo. Your kids are as sweet as they can possibly be.

    I don’t mind blogging about silly stuff, and to me that includes all poop references. I wouldn’t blog about stuff that I wouldn’t share with my friends. And I don’t share that much. I’m a pretty private person. And I figure they don’t want to hear all that stuff anyway.

    I don’t know. It’s sort of a case-by-case call. All it takes is one weird stalker nutty fella and I’m finding myself wishing I’d never mentioned my kids at all! It’s so hard. I’ve compromised myself many times over with regards to privacy issues. I keep pushing the envelope more and more. You kind of have to if you want to develop any type of real relationships with people you meet online. It just seems that lack of privacy is, regrettably, the wave of the future.

    Heather (How to be a Woman..?)´s latest post: Women like Candy

  20. Assertagirl Avatar

    Since I don’t have kids, the privacy issue is slightly different for me, but I definitely don’t write about everything I’d like to. Mostly I avoid writing about my mom and our issues, although I think it would be most therapeutic for me to write about that very thing. It’s a tough call, isn’t it? Everyone seems to have their own set of rules.

    Assertagirl´s latest post: Frosty the Doughman

  21. thordora Avatar

    My marriage is out nowadays, and if I was smart, it would have always been. Really special things, or embarressing things, they stay in the paper journal. Naming other people in posts, my own name-I prefer to stay relatively anon.

    When it comes to me, there’s little I won’t say. But I’m a lot more careful about others now.

    thordora´s latest post: “The test of a vocation is the love of the drudgery it involves. “

  22. Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah Avatar

    Both.

    I don’t mind embarrassing my kids when they say crazy things, but when things come up that are truly private (and that isn’t very often) then I keep it off of the internet.

    I don’t want things out there that can hurt them, but I am fine with the embarrassment.

    Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah´s latest post: Is She Threatening Me?

  23. CharmingBitch Avatar

    This is becoming more and more of an issue for us; most importantly because we recently had a wicked bad stalker issue that made me want to find the nearest hole in the ground and move the whole lot of us into it. But also because so many of the issues w/ my sister’s kids are more theirs than mine, if that makes sense. We have made a concerted effort to never talk down about their parents and I don’t want that to be shattered one day by reading some rant of mine. Not that they don’t know, somewhat, the deal but they are 6,5 and almost 3 now but anything written now is committed to Google forever. The 14 year old knows her parents are jacked but she loves them and it isn’t for me or D to shape that for her OR anyone reading. It’s hard, really hard sometimes, to make the distinction between what is my story to tell and what is mine to protect from prying, unkind eyes.

    CharmingBitch´s latest post: Sunday Hymns – NSFW. Even a little bit. SRSLY.

  24. Cat Avatar

    I have no boundaries, no limits, nothing I keep to myself. I’m often told I make people uncomfortable. There really is no greater joy.

    However, I also have no kids.

    Cat´s latest post: Arkansas: The Final Chapter

  25. Shelly Avatar

    I’m in the minority here, I’ll post stories about my kids but I try and leave out their names. If I post a picture, I’ll blur out my children’s eyes or try and take a picture that doesn’t show their faces much, occasionally I will post a picture though but I definitely think twice before doing so. I know this doesn’t make for great pictures for a blog but oh well. There are just too many mean spirited freaks and sexual perverts out there.

    I’ve learned to be overly cautious the hard way by watching people on a very popular board I used to frequent called “Fertility Friend” get ripped to shreds on blogs created just to make fun of people on Fertility Friend, their posts, and their families. Nothing was off limits for these horrible bloggers. I wasn’t targeted myself but I know some people that were and how much it hurt them to have pictures of their own kids copied and posted onto blogger blogs and made fun of in very vulgar ways. I no longer am a member of Fertility Friend and have since made my Photobucket account private. Why take the risk?

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