Why do I still read and comment on blogs by women (and men) in the infertility war? Here I am, mom of 3, my youngest turned 2 yesterday, why am I still reading about PIO shots, beta numbers at 10 DPT, and the pros and cons of switching IVF clinics?
Because even after all this time it still speaks to me.
I don’t feel damaged emotionally like I used to, but the memory of the pain I felt at the sight of pregnant women, kids playing, moms hanging out together, is still right under the surface ready to spring back out at any time.
It is true that I don’t have the gut-ache I had before kids, and for that I am more grateful than you can imagine. Actually, if infertility has bitch-slapped you too, you get what I mean precisely.
But reading about and connecting with people currently going through treatments, homestudies, failures and successes is a link to the people I consider my community. And I cannot just leave that behind now that I have kids. I’m the same person, mom or not.