With my 3 lunatic boys, I find myself thinking about the effect of birth order quite a lot.

Chip, charming #3, always trying to make a unique place in the world for himself. Today he went to school in his brother’s birthday cake hat. With one tall red boot and one short yellow boot on. His answer to every question was “no” and he wouldn’t kiss me goodbye. Not meanly, just trying out some new stuff.

Robbie, middle child. Always trying to get more more more attention. “Look at me! Look at me!” is his rallying cry. He is empathetic and concerned about others around him. (Watch me neglect the middle child some more: this paragraph of his is shorter than the others!)

Mike, oldest child. In-freaking-charge. I often feel guilty that he has to do everything first. He has to be the kid that I “learn on” — the starter model. I certainly won’t be as apprehensive about kindergarten for the other boys. I don’t worry about potty training Chip. I never worried about when Robbie would learn to crawl or walk. From Mike, I knew all these things would work themselves out in time.

No way to know the first time

But I didn’t know that when Mike was doing all these things, and that has made his transitions more difficult. But is that a bad thing? He’s had to be more self-reliant. He’s always been the trail-blazer. He’s rarely afraid of new situations. He loves being the biggest brother.

And while I think that being the first-born has placed extra stress on his life, today on his birthday I am reminded of the positives. He is my first child to turn 5, and I think I’m more excited than he is. When I tucked him in last night I told him that this would be the last time he would ever be 4, and we both giggled.

Sometimes it’s good to be first.

Before I went to bed last night I popped into the boys bedroom to re-tuck everyone in. I snuggled with sleeping Mike for a while, and reflected on how 5 years ago we were not parents. I thought maybe we never would be. Then Saturday morning March 2, 2002 we got the call that changed all our lives.

“A baby boy was born — come get him!” And we did.

Posted

February 28, 2007

From PlainJaneMom.com

Erika Jurney

Tags:

oldest-child

Comments

7 responses to “With my 3 lunatic boys, I find myself thinking about the effect of birth order quite a lot.”

Mrs. Flinger

February 28, 2007

I’m a first! I recently reflected on how my husband and I have no idea what to do with a last born. We’re both firsts. Apparently, we’ll get the hang of it, but sill. I actually just thought about this topic myself.

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Oh, The Joys

February 28, 2007

I’m an oldest child. Looking back, I think it’s okay to lean on the older one as you do. There are a lot of benefits to being first too.

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Code Yellow Mom

February 28, 2007

I’m a first-born, too. And I try to take it easy on my first, but you are right – you just don’t know the first time around. :)

Your last line gave me goosbumps. What a wonderful call and how great to have the little guy to snuggle and giggle with.

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Mama Maven

February 28, 2007

I’m an oldest child as well. My oldest is my husbands third so its interesting to watch them all figure out their place in the order when the two oldest aren’t here all the time. My big kid turns 6 on 3/7 and has two loose teeth to be the first to lose.

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Homemom3

March 1, 2007

I must say I’m a first child and boy was that not always fun. I must agree though, looking at the behavior of myself and siblings we are just like my children. Of course, what happens when you throw a fourth one into the mix?

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Keith

March 1, 2007

How interesting that everyone on here so far is a first born. I am as well. My wife is a middle child, but also an only daughter, so in a way she has a first born personality. We have always talked about the order of birth. It is fascinating. We are hoping for a girl first, they make great leaders!

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Cheryl

March 2, 2007

I’m a first born, too! That makes me the ‘trial balloon’ because my parents had two more. The most important thing I ever did was not planned or anticipated by me… I made two adults have a brand new role.

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