This morning we set out on the annual ritual of obtaining Flu Shots. Normally high-drama, what with shortages and all, today was a DRAMA FESTIVAL OF CRAP!
Our assigned time was 8-12, and we managed to roll in at 9:15. Mr. Plain dropped us off at the entrance and went to park. So far so good.
Usually we get up to the second floor and wait in line for maybe 20 minutes tops. This time the line began on the ground floor. Out the door. Through a courtyard. And around the block. (Back, in fact, to about 20 steps from where Mr. Plain had dropped us off.) And remember that the target demo for the flu shot is old folks and kids. So that was fun.
We waited on the sidewalk and when we got close to the actual building they separated us out into folks with kids and old folks. My god, it was like Soyalent Green. Depressing as hell, but moving on.
Wait to get to the elevator. Wait to get around the corner. Wait to get to the end of the un-airconditioned hall. Wait to turn around and come back down the same hall. Strollers, bored/tired/hungry/confused kids. Fun!
We get close to the finish line and I remember that we haven’t said more to the kids than “We’re going to see the doctor to help keep you healthy.” Not exactly a lie, but. I think they started to get suspicious when they heard the blood-curdling wails of kids, a dozen at a time, getting jabbed. So of course I start talking about lollipops.
When it is our turn, all 5 of us get to go to the same nurse. We sit down and start going through the paperwork and Mike starts to freak out. His imagination is way too detailed. He hardly ever cries or shows that he’s scared, but this was different. I gave everyone their lollipops right away — no point holding back.
First Mr. Plain and I got our shots. Then I held Mike in my lap and mercifully the nurse was very quick. When it was done he was surprised because of course whatever his mind had cooked up was way worse than what actually happened.
The whole time Robbie was standing inches away watching. He wasn’t scared, sat on my lap, and was done in a flash. Chip was next and cried, but the lollipop erased his memory like that flash thing in Men in Black!
Some more paperwork, more lollipops, and we were out of there. Oh, and the whole ordeal ONLY took 2.5 hours. I’m going to be so pissed if any of the kids get the flu this winter!