New Years Eve. We were trying to get some sleep in our very nice hotel so we could wake up at the aforementioned ass-crack of dawn to start our 13 hour drive home. So, you know, we weren’t planning on making it to midnight.
But we hear revelers in the suite next door. This hotel is an old department store. Everything is very solid, and I wasn’t even aware that it was possible to hear much noise from other rooms. Apparently, however, hooting and screaming travel somehow on their own sound continuum and manage to snake their way through wall molecules to my ears.
Mr. Plain just takes out his hearing aids and is off to sleep, the bastard. I mean it is great because he’s going to be doing all the driving the next day, and I know he’ll be rested and not plow us into the side of an IHOP, but really it still pisses me off that he can always fall asleep like turning off a switch. Asshole. But I digress.
This goes on for a while and I keep thinking “Hell, it is new year’s eve. Who am I to complain about a party?” But then I remember how much we’re paying for this room. And I hear people pouring off the elevator. And SCREAMING in the halls. And, no joke, blowing party horns. Who raised these people and then let them out of their cage?
At 11:30 they ratchet it up a notch, make sounds like they are completely rearranging the furniture, flush the toilet approximately every 2 minutes, and scream things I haven’t heard since I used to attend fraternity parties.
Then it happens. They wake up Chip. This pisses me off so much that I finally call the front desk. All they say is “We’ll send someone right up.”
Over the course of the next 10 minutes the noise level drops steadily until I hear… nothing. Absolutely nothing. Silence. Whatever the hotel staff did (tasers, silencers on their pistols, brass knuckles) worked perfectly and I wonder why it took me so long to call. Chip fell back asleep, and all was right in the world.
I rang in 2007 as the only one awake in my room. I smiled at Mr. Plain, rolled over, and fell asleep happy and relaxed. A pretty decent start to the year.