Thank God I Had a C-Section!

When we adopted Mike one of the things we had to do for the post-placement homestudy was show them a book of pictures we had made for him. It was supposed to show Mr. Plain and I before Mike, the transition to getting Mike, and so on. You get the idea. Then when Robbie was born I did the same thing for him, because of course everything has to be equal!

Last night at bedtime we looked at the pictures in “The Book about Robbie” and it became clear that we hadn’t done it in a long time. It all started with the picture of me napping with 6-month old Mike and a hugely pregnant belly full of Robbie. (Yes, my oldest are 8 months apart, and that is a whole other post.)

So the questions began, and my answers were in the spirit of only answering what they really asked.

“How does the baby get out of your tummy?”

The doctor knows how to do it.

“But what does the doctor do?”

The doctor helps the baby get out.

“Out of where?”

[This is the part in the story where the title of this post was created and I show them my c-section scar.]

This line is where Robbie and Chip came out.

“But how?”

The doctor makes a tiny hole and helps the baby out.

“How?”

With a special tool.

“What kind of tool?”

It is called a scalpel.

“What does the tool do?”

It cuts.

[Robbie turns paler, and Mike gasps and recoils in horror.]

“Ouch!!”

The doctor has special medicine that makes it not hurt.

[Up until now Robbie had been strangely silent, but now he pipes up.]

“I don’t want to be a grown up and have a baby in my tummy!!”

[LONG explanation of how only women have babies, while boys, men and girls do not. SIGNIFICANT relief.]

I got off pretty easy and am awaiting the next question. “How does the baby get INTO your tummy?” !!

Comments

  1. says

    Just don’t let your husband explain the whole “baby getting into your tummy.” Mine did and my poor son was traumatized for weeks. Let’s just say da husband provided too much information…silly man!

  2. says

    With one of my kids, I explained how the father “fertilized the egg.” (Yes, I was wimping out with a euphemism. Then I overhead my kid explaining to another kid that you just need “an egg and some fertilizer” to make a baby. I was just waiting for science experiments in the garage….

  3. says

    Too funny! My 4-year-old likes to see my boo boo on my tummy (I’ve had two c-sections.) Thankfully she’s never gotten around to the big makin’ baby discussion. YIKES!

  4. says

    My older son asked about this at age 3 when I was pregnant with his brother. At the time, we didn’t have the c-section excuse. We ended up making shadowy references to the baby coming out of “the tunnel”.

    Eventually the discussion led to him asking the dreaded question, “How DID the baby get in there in the first place?”

    Oy!

    That was quite a conversation, let me tell you!

  5. says

    Uy! I broke out into a sweat just reading this! My oldest isn’t there yet, but I know that just as I let my guard down he’s gonna ask me something I’m gonna wish he’d asked his daddy first!!!

  6. says

    Yup, at 7 we are started down that path, as well. And even though we have talked with R. about her adoption story (from China) only about, say, 8,758 times, she still sometimes wants to know how she got into and out of my tummy! I know on one level she understands and that on another, she’s hoping the wish fulfillment can really come true.

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