My 2 oldest are eligible to start kindergarten in September, so I went online to get the forms required to get them signed up. Realistically, Robbie isn’t going to be ready since he’s got a November birthday, but I’m going to get him and Mike registered just in case.
So why all of a sudden am I freaking out?
I wasn’t planning on homeschooling, so not like it is a surprise that I’ll be sending my kids to school. And I’m also not in a “my babies are growing up so fast” panic. I think it stems from my own school experiences.
I hated school.
Sadness at home made me an unhappy, worried kid. School is where the weak get separated from the herd, and let’s just say the jaguars got me. I was the antelope with a persistent cough and a stitch in my side, and then I was lunch.
I think about sending my kids to kindergarten, and it feels like I’m throwing them into the mouth of some unholy kid-mauling machine. I recognize that this is totally about me and my background. But. I’m really going to have to work on my attitude before school starts so I don’t pass this bias on to Mike.
Mike is an incredibly efficient emotion-sponge.
I know most kids are, but he’s got it down to an art. For a year he was in a preschool classroom with this teacher who was really uptight, tense and depressed. I’ve got no problem with folks who have any or all of those qualities, but boy oh boy they are the wrong people to teach Mike.
After a long drama, I got him switched into one of the other two classrooms (apparently this kind of a move was unprecedented), and he’s having a completely different experience at school. For example, he likes it. He used to have a major meltdown in the car every day after school. He could only hold in the tension for so long, and then it would just blast out.
So what happens if he gets a crappy kinder teacher? When that happened in preschool all I had to do was make a total ass of myself for 6 months and I finally was able to get him moved. In regular school it is all about paperwork. And taking attendance. And “no excuses!”
And holy fuck, homework in kindergarten. That is the work of the devil.
So the question remains. Will I “adjust my attitude” and nicely fit into kindergarten-mom culture? Or will I be the one taking her kid out of school for long weekends and telling the teacher she can stick her kindergarten homework where the sun don’t shine? I honestly don’t know, but I sure makes my palms sweat just thinking about it.
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I’m not there yet, but sure I will feel some of the same…
(((you)))
(((HUGS))) – Kindergarten isn’t that bad, at least ours isn’t. Try not to be too nervous – I know easier said than done. As for the homework? I, too was anti kindergarten homework but once it started coming home I changed my tone, mostly because its not “homework” in the sense of sit down and work type stuff. Its fun stuff, fun even for me and most of it is stuff we do at the dinner table (discussions or games), which takes a lot of pressure off me as far as dinner convo goes, or at story time (look for certain words, letters, rhymes, etc) and thats no biggie either.
Here’s to hoping he gets a good teacher, because really that does make all the difference! Is there a way you could talk to other parents and staffers and get some reviews of your options and then request your preffered teacher before the end of this year when placements are made? I know not all schools will indulge that sort of thing without a little tooth pulling, but if it’s worth it it’s worth it. I did it and won’t be afraid to again in future years if need be. This is the foundation for their lives in the educational system – might as well ensure it be a solid one!
Good Luck PJM!
It was daunting to face that with R. We ultimately decided to send her to a private school, at least for a while, because we were concerned about the same issues you raise. (The public school she would attend from K-2 has 9 classes of EACH grade and they all go to recess and lunch a the SAME TIME!) It’s a tough call, but you’ll know what the right decision is.
What is it with all the homework in kindergarten these days? I remember flash card and some reading assignments but kids these days have real homework.
Hopefully he will end up with a great teacher that you both love.
I know that you are in the Bay Area. Have you considered a developmental progam? There are many in the around here.
We started my son in a Spanish Immersion program that turned out to be very academic. It just didn’t suit my son’s personality to the point where he was crying every day when I left him and throwing crayons across the room while working on his homework. Finally one day, he ran out of the classroom and hid behind a garbage can sobbing. That was it for me. You can read more about all this on my blog if you’re interested.
Our school district has an “alternative school” that is part of the public school system but is based on a developmental philosophy. He started there after Thanksgiving and has transformed back into the happy, confident child I used to know. He is still doing a lot of schooly kind of things just in a more organic way and there’s no homework in Kindergarten.
His teacher just won the Teacher of the Year award from our school district. She’s fabulous and it’s just a great program.
Email me privately if you would like a link to their website.
Thank you to everyone who tells me it won’t be as bad as I think. You are all so sweet! I feel like so much of this will be out of my control, and that really bugs the crap out of me.
I went through the same emotions last year at this time contemplating sending my oldest to kindergarten. I think it’s normal, it’s a big milestone! If you can, some schools have open houses before kindergarten and maybe you can chat with some of the teachers and get a feel for them and if you find one you like (or don’t) you can request the right class. You have every right in public school to request the teacher you want, you may not get him/her, but you can voice your opinion and I know all the schools I worked at honored those requests.
Is this twins you’re talking about?
Mine will be starting KGarten in the Fall and I’m just now descending into THE KINDERGARTEN VORTEX OF ANXIETY
At least now I know I’m in good company.
i recommend not putting the november b-day child in kindergarten. he will be so much more able to adapt being one of the ‘older’ kids in the class. i have 3 boys myself and my son with the August b-day struggled from about 4th grade to 8th grade. High School is ok but he’s ‘smaller’and a little less mature. the area really is “maturity”. most of the boys will be ‘older’ and more mature, and more athletic and this will really be a problem during the jr. high years. you will find that all the other parents have kept their kids back for this very reason so it will make him even younger than the others. also, sports sports sports. by the time they hit middle school you will find all the more popular, more athletic, more well adjusted kids, have been in sports since they were 5/6 years old. not to mention these boys need to run off the energy. good luck – been there.
Patti.
Delurking a bit….
Boy are we on the opposite ends of the curve! The last one is just completing her college applications.
Didn’t really have to think about it — DS1′s birthday is February; DS2′s birthday is in August but his kindergarten teacher STRONGLY recommended a second year in K — starting from after the Thanksgiving break (“He’s just not ready for 1st grade structure”), and DD1′s birthday is late in the year after the cut-off.
And don’t get me started on homework before 4th grade — let alone kindergarten. It is EEEEEEVVVVVILLLL.
My oldest daughter turns 5 in June and I’ll be registering her for kindergarten in April and frankly just thinking about it freaks me out. I hope when the time comes your boys have a kindergarten teacher who is nurturing and that they truly love school and flourish in the environment. It’s just the unknown that is so scary. Kindergarten is a huge milestone and one that is just as significant for the parents as the kids.
And homework? In kindergarten? WTF? NO, just no.
I know just what you mean and I have similar worries for my littles as they progress to the higher grades. So far they are doing great but I always worry, will they able to adjust as they get older to keep up with the things that happen?
Oh and my son is a spanish immersion school (which we love but let me just say homework is veeerrry interesting because “Moooom YOU don’t know. You don’t speak spanish.”
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